The Massachusetts Spy

From the Town and Country Magazine, Sept. 1770.

The
GHOST of a TETE-A-TETE;
Or, a Dialogue in the Shades between the Duchess
of Marlborough and Lord Ligonier.

Duchess.
A WELCOME, my Lord, to these immortal territories.
What news in the
other world?

Lord Ligonier.
Your Grace asks me a question, the
reply to which would take up as long as your absence
from earth, were I to relate all the extraordinary events
that have occurred since that period.

Duchess.
No, my Lord, I would not impose so very
arduous a task upon you. I only want to know the present
state of gallantry; and who are the reigning toasts
that give laws to the vices and follies of mankind.

Lord Ligonier.
A
Pompadour and
a
Yarmouth
are
now no more; but
though the
Grand
Monarque,
in
the vale of
years,
cannot subdue
his amorous
passions
and has supplied his mistress's place with Madam Barry;
our
virtuous
Sovereign,
in the vigour of youth, stands
unaccused of the
slightest deviation from the path of con-
jugal virtue.

Duchess.
But is this example of the Monarch fol-
lowed by his Courtiers?

Lord Ligonier.
Very far from it; they act in direct
opposition;
for there is scarce a man in place, or a cour-
tier, who not only publicly supports one, but two, three
and four mistresses:
they seem to glory in vice, and ap-
pear competitors
for
fame in infamy.

Duchess.
What
have they
even thrown aside the
mask of decency.
In
my
time, though the complexion
of
the Court
was
as
amorous as it ever had been known,
the
appearance
of
virtue was
thought necessary to sup-
port the reputation
of
the
men, and the honours of the
Ladies.

Lord
Ligonier.
But now, Madam, the Ladies con-
ceal no
other complexion than that of their faces; the
disposition
of their hearts, and their conjugal infidelities,
are
as
notorious
as
the rouge and blanc upon their cheeks,
which
they
glory
in
wearing;
and
a woman of
fashion
without
a
Chichester, would
now be proscribed in all
po-
lite
company,
as much
as
formerly a Lady
who
had
publicly
devitated
from the track of
female honour.
Nay, they
have gone so far as to form a society
for the
support
of
their rights and privileges, in which they pro-
pose
giving
laws to
their husbands, that these may not
infringe
upon
their
legal prerogatives of cuckolding
them
with
elegance.
A
FEMALE COTERIE, Madam, is ac-
tually
instituted
for
this
laudable purpose.

Duchess.
Indeed!
And
pray
who are the worthy
members?

Lord Ligonier. Almost every woman who lays claim
to a coronet; and every Lady of spirit upon the bon ton.

Duchess.
If this be the case, chastity will absolutely
be abolished, and adultery publicly substituted in its stead.

Lord Ligonier.
Adultery formerly, Madam,
was a-
mong the catalogue of vices; but now it is a necessary
qualification for a woman to obtain a better match, after
she is divorced from her first husband, who does not pre-
tend to accuse her of any infidelities on the score of jea-
lousy, delicacy, or honour; but merely that they may
be legally separated, and afterwards wed, she the woman,
and he the man, more to their minds; and it is gener-
ally believed the Female
Coterie,
by their
judicious re-
gulations,
will greatly accelerate the
progress of second
weddings,
during the lives of both husband and wife.

Duchess.
And how is this countenanced at court?

Lord Ligonier.
The K-.
indeed
shows it every
mark of disapprobation; but his brothers are as tren-
uous in support of it.

Duchess.
Amazing!

Lord Ligonier.
The Duke of G---- has long had
a public connexion with Lady W..---, whose friends
give out that they are married; but this wedding has
never
been publicly
announced
and the
Duke of
Cumberland, after a variety of mistresses
s (some of whom he
has afterwards placed in
the more
useful station of pro-
cureeses) has lately made
a
great
noise
in
the world, by
his
intrigue
with
Lady
Grosvenor.
Unluckily
the
letters
that passed between them, and
which have been
published, were replete with errors in orthography, which
has turned the laugh against them; otherwise the affair
would have went off greatly to both their honours.

Duchess.
And pray, my Lord, how do the husbands
and wives behave when they meet in company after their
divorces?

Lord Ligonier.
With the same politeness and civility
as
if nothing had happened; the first
and second wife
converse together as familiarly
ALIVE above, as they did
formerly when DEAD here below; and the two husbands,
who have changed hands, instead of cutting one another's
throats, as was formerly
the
barbarous custom, take a
pinch of snuff together, and laugh at the intrigue of the day.

Duchess.
Wonderful!

Lord Ligonier.
Oh! Madam, every thing is so po-
lished, Frenchified, and Italianized since your time, that
if you were now to take a walk up stairs, when at St.
James's,
you would
think
yourself at Versailles or
Naples.
English hospitality,
sincerity, beauty, virtue,
and honour,
are,
indeed
kicked out of doors; but then
Oh
you
have every
foreign
vice,
and every exotic ridiculous
fashion,
plentifully
introduced
to
supply their places.