New Hampshire Statesman

" The little dogs and all, Tray, Blanch, and Sweetheart. See how they bark at me."

AN ignorant fellow, whose writings have often disgraced the N. H. Patriot, has filled up nearly a whole column of the last, with scurrility and abuse, directed at me—had it come from a respectable source, and been written in decent language, it might have claimed some serious attention.—But the author is well known to me, and were I disposed, I could tell tales that would make him blush—but I have no disposition to expose the private character of any person, or to injure the already soil'd reputation of my friend, (as he styles himself.) And when persons attack me without provocation, whom I know to be malicious, treacherous, and base, I consider them unworthy of notice, and feel more disposed to pity them for the maliciousness of their dispositions, than to censure them for their impudence. Had I ever made any pretensions to authorship, I should relinquish them at once, after this wonderful production of my friend. His good spelling, correct punctuation, and elegant style, are sufficient to deter any person from putting pen to paper, so long as he remains a critic. This meddlesome fellow, seems to anticipate, that I shall enter into a controversy with him ; but I assure him, he may rest easy, (if his conscience will let him,) for his meanness and insignificance, will shield him from any chastisement from me, however much he may deserve it He intimates, that the article above alluded to, was intended exclusively for my eye ; but here he betrays his natural propensity to falsehood. for he must have felt anxious to let the public know that he was an author, or he would not have proclaimed about town (three days before the Patriot was put to press) that he was in labour, and that the thing, when brought forth, was to be called Jonathan's Friend. The expectations of all persons in this vicinity, were raised on tiptoe ; all anticipating the appearance of some wonderful phenomenon, some Mammoth production, that would eclipse the writings of all the known, and Unknown authors.- But hear the sequel—when the thing was produced, the most serious could not help laughing.—But 'Twas not at the beauty of the thing. The author—poor fool—they laugh'd at him. For it proved to be a non descript, a thing without sense, and its language could be compared to nothing but the yelping of a puppy, or the braying of a jack-ass.

(PRIVATE.) Now Friend, as thou wast private w h thy address to me, which was privately written, and privately published in Mr. Hill's paper; and as thou art very private in all thy private intrigues, I will privately say a few words for thy private ear. 1st—I assure thee that I was privately informed at the time, that the address delivered on the 4th inst. which was privately written, and privately kept, until the very moment of delivery, was written that very morning, and I have never stated that it was not, as thou intimates—and its having been privately sent about town into private families, to be privately read, is positive proof that the author intended to keep it private. Secondly—I would inform thee that no further notice will be taken of thee or thy scurrility, unless thou should attempt to bite, as well as bark. Thirdly—I will give thee a few words of advice ; quit thy abuse of thy neighbours—relinquish the foolish idea of raising thy own reputation, by detracting from the merits of others—do not betray confidence when reposed in thee, or make use of wilful and malicious lies, to deceive thy friends, or promote thy private interest. Keep within thy sphere, and study to subdue thy malignant disposition—correct thy morals and thy manners, and thou mayest yet become a decent member of society ; then thou mayest subscribe thyself my friend—but until then, I shall say, "Stand thou a little farther off," To proffer friendship pray forbear. First—look at thy malicious heart, And cleanse it of the hell that's there.

I shall now take leave of thee, and with perfect good feelings toward thee, and an ardent wish for thy reform— leave thee to thy own reflections.

JONATHAN.