Thomas's Massachusetts Spy, Or, Worcester Gazette

MISCELLANY.

From the Wilmington (Del.) Gazette.

Sketch of an Editor's Life.

Enter the office in the morning, and pick up the papers to see what we can gather from our brethren of the type, for the gratification of our readers. A gentleman enters and proposes to subscribe for our paper. Pleased with the proposition, we make all possible haste to receive it, but, to our infinite mortification, find, at the conclusion, that he has not, at present, any money about him, but will call in a few days and pay us.—Re-commence reading, and struggling hard with our reflections on the recent event, when a rap at the door is heard—we bid them "come in," when a gentleman enters and accosts us with—

"Sir, I have a hand-bill for you to print, and should be glad if it could be done soon." "Very good, sir," we reply, "it shall be immediately attended to." He thanks us for our accommodation, requests us to send it to — when completed, to charge it to his account, and then retires. Another rap at the door—"come in." A boy from the country enters, with an advertisement for the next paper, and mentions that Mr. — has received our bill, but had no money about him at the moment: he will, however, call in a few days, and pay the old and new one together. Another gentleman enters with an advertisement, and inquires "can this appear in your next paper?" "O yes, sir." Very good—he retires—no money of course. Immediately another enters with a letter. Request him to take a seat; but he cannot tarry; he bids "good morning," and retires. Read the letter—"Sir, I am very much dissatisfied with your notions on a particular subject; and you will therefore erase my name from your subscription list. I will call in a day or two and pay you." By and bye in comes the paper-maker, and wants some money—got none for him—put him off as well as we can. The press-man calls out—"the ink is out." No money to buy any more. What is to be done? Here, Bob, take these bills and try to collect some money; and here, Tom, is a bundle for you too. Don't stay. No sir—no sir. Enter a subscriber "I wonder how it happened that I got no paper the last time!" I don't know indeed—it was sent to the place you ordered it. While endeavouring to satisfy him—proof is called out. Begin to read the proof, and another calls for copy. Copy is furnished. In comes Bob—Mr. — is in Philadelphia, Mr. — is in Baltimore; Mr. — is in the country, Mr. — had no change about him; Mr. — says you must send again; Mr. — says you need not send to him for money, when he has it he will call and pay you. See there is no money. Attempt again to read the proof, but interrupted again by another call for money. While endeavouring to tell the best story we can, in comes Tom with a tale similar to Bob's. The person goes away disappointed, and leaves us mortified. Tom is sent to the Post-Office.—Whilst he is gone, the proof is finished. He comes back with a bundle of letters; commence reading the letters, find one a long communication from a friend, which it would be improper to insert; another a complaint for not having published a philippick against a friend; a third a communication on an indifferent subject, on which we have the postage to pay; and a fourth, an order for the paper; but without the advance enclosed.—The above, with some variations, may be taken as a sample of an Editor's Life.

Variety is the very spice of life,
Which gives it all its flavour—

But with an Editor; it is frequently a very unpleasant flavour, since his varieties are sometimes calculated to bring vexation upon vexation.

It is true we sometimes meet with events a little different from those we have here detailed, or our readers may imagine how it would be with us.