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Literary
November 15, 1915
The Daily Telegram
Clarksburg, Harrison County, West Virginia
What is this article about?
In a small farming village, old farmer Hiram consoles his tearful wife Salavia, who laments the theft of one of their 'dar-ters' by Cy Oatbins. Hiram dismisses pursuit, reflecting on his own marital troubles. The tale ends with a quip on women's hearts beating faster than men's.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
THE DAILY
NOVELET
DOWN ON THE FARM.
Old Hiram Whatsisname lived in a farming village of seventeen inhabitants, eighteen counting the new goat that Ephram Beeswax was trying to buy for $3.68, which his owner declared was worth every cent of $4.
One day Hiram crawled into the house to find his wife, Salavia, in tears.
"Hey, watcha cryin' about?" he inquired in a loudly nasal tone.
"It—it's about one uv—uv our dar—ters." she sobbed.
"Ston yer snifflin'! Which one of 'em? An' what's thuh matter witn 'er, heh?" he demanded; while he playfully pounded her on the small of the back.
"Another one—uv—uv—our dar—ters—was stole las' night," she sniffed.
"Huh! The red-headed one?" he inquired in a calmer tone.
"Yas, uv course. He's missing. Finest gal in the—"
"Cy Oatbins?" he asked, laconically.
"Yas, up course. He's missing. The only man as ever waited on her. Aintcha goin' to foller 'em an' arrest 'im?"
"Uv course not! Let 'im take 'is medicine and work out uf his own trouble same's I've been a doin' this past forty years!"
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
NOVELET
DOWN ON THE FARM.
Old Hiram Whatsisname lived in a farming village of seventeen inhabitants, eighteen counting the new goat that Ephram Beeswax was trying to buy for $3.68, which his owner declared was worth every cent of $4.
One day Hiram crawled into the house to find his wife, Salavia, in tears.
"Hey, watcha cryin' about?" he inquired in a loudly nasal tone.
"It—it's about one uv—uv our dar—ters." she sobbed.
"Ston yer snifflin'! Which one of 'em? An' what's thuh matter witn 'er, heh?" he demanded; while he playfully pounded her on the small of the back.
"Another one—uv—uv—our dar—ters—was stole las' night," she sniffed.
"Huh! The red-headed one?" he inquired in a calmer tone.
"Yas, uv course. He's missing. Finest gal in the—"
"Cy Oatbins?" he asked, laconically.
"Yas, up course. He's missing. The only man as ever waited on her. Aintcha goin' to foller 'em an' arrest 'im?"
"Uv course not! Let 'im take 'is medicine and work out uf his own trouble same's I've been a doin' this past forty years!"
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
What sub-type of article is it?
Prose Fiction
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Agriculture Rural
Social Manners
What keywords are associated?
Rural Life
Dialect Humor
Family Misunderstanding
Farm Village
Suitor Elopement
Literary Details
Title
Down On The Farm.
Key Lines
"Another One—Uv—Uv—Our Dar—Ters—Was Stole Las' Night," She Sniffed.
"Huh! The Red Headed One?" He Inquired In A Calmer Tone.
"Yas, Uv Course. He's Missing. Finest Gal In The—"
"Cy Oatbins?" He Asked, Laconically.
A Woman's Heart Beats Faster Than A Man's.