Alexandria Gazette, Commercial And Political

From the M. Fork (Va.) Columbian.

Diversion.

Letter from a gentleman in Washington to his friend in this city.

Dear Bob,

I am, you know, what they call a lobby-lounger here; I hear all that is said, think a great deal and tell a great deal more than I know. The ladies, sweet souls, and I, occupy the gallery every forenoon and every afternoon I haunt the boarding houses and every Wednesday evening attend the levees so that if I do not know what is going on the deuce is in it. I was a mighty caucus man took prodigious interest in it, but of which side I was the Lord only knows. I can only say that I talked flippantly about it and about it at breakfast discussed it very gravely and didactically at dinner, and after five or six rubs at whist in the evening, dreamt on it all night. But it always puzzled me to know which side of the question I was on-in fact, I was on all sides. One would say, Crawford is a great man, and ought to be President. So he is, says I--six feet four inches high, & well proportioned--and the d--l's in it if he is not a large man. Another would affirm that Mr. Monroe was a man of great diplomatic talents. To be sure says I-General Washington and Thomas Jefferson have decided that point and wo be unto him that disputes the authority of Washington and Jefferson. Washington perceived that his abilities were so great abroad, that he thought the interests of the country would be most materially benefitted by them at home; and Jefferson was so well satisfied with his treaty at London, that he would not even let the senate have a peep at it--thus paying him as great a tribute as the Roman (Cato, I believe it was) had rendered him, when about to testify and take the usual oath, the judge interfered, and said, Cato's word is sufficient--O yes, a great diplomatist, most unquestionably!

Thus you see, my dear Bob, I tallied in with all, and for the life and soul of me could not make up my mind. But would you believe it, there's a set here who are in favor of Mr. M. for President, and still deny him ordinary capacity, and make that the reason why he ought to be our chief magistrate. That posed me prodigiously; it was a long time before I could tally in :~O nothing so plain! said they; why there is Mr. C-e-d to be secretary of state and foreign affairs: and Mr. C-h-n again! is to be secretary of finance and circulating medium, and Mr. L- to be secretary of the treasury, and Mr. D. to be governor general and commander in chief of the banks, and Mr. Such-a one to be god of war ;--now pray tell us, said they, what the president has to do but to sign his name and get his private secretary to write his speech--That indeed, said I: but supposing C. should get into dispute with C. [barbarous civil war, to be sure] and L. with D. and hostilities spread through the alphabet, there would be warm work in the wig-wam, and who is to quell the tumult? Leave that to the Old Sachem. was the reply.

That governor general and commander in chief of the bank is a prodigious great man: he laughs by rule, and displays his teeth by files. He is without doubt the purest financier of any of his countrymen; for he is an American, being born and brought up in the West-Indies There has not a great stock holder made his appearance here this winter; the governor-general has frowned them from his presence. P. and G. and J.J. A. have been awed and kept at a most respectful distance. And then these Virginians are so modest and unassuming, it would do your heart good to be acquainted with them: but I perceive I am running into an inexhaustible topic, and so must bid you adieu, my dear Bob.

* We do not think Mr. M's talents so very shallow as the writer would insinuate : nor would we think of wreaking vengeance on a man of mediocrity for a spiteful assault on a New-Yorker as eminent for his virtues as for his abilities: but we have thought the letter from Washington capable of affording some amusement and instruction, by exhibiting some vicious and supple politicians in a justly ridiculous light.

Editors of Columbian.