The Virginia Gazette

The MONITOR.

Vis consili expers mole ruit sua.
Hor. Lib. 3. Ode 4.

At a Conference the other Day with my Female Assistants, there arose a very great Dispute, in Regard to Miss Fidget's Diligence and Assiduity to be the First in my Favour; and the Debate was so hot, that I almost despair'd of ever being able to bring them in Order. Miss Leer declared, if Precedency was to take Place by Seniority, the Right was absolutely in her. Miss Sly seconded the Motion, by a Flirt with her Fan, which went off like a Train of Gun-Powder, to the Rest; that for the Space of Half an Hour, we were in the utmost Confusion. I at last commanded Silence, desired them to be seated, and took the Chair, and proceeded to hear their Grievances.

Miss Fidget got up, and with a great deal of Decorum, ask'd Pardon; that if she had been too forward, She should stand corrected by the Monitor. This appeas'd them; and I settled the whole Affair, in the following Manner, viz.

That Miss Leer, should be immediately appointed Sister, in the Service of the Club; Miss Sly, for Observation; Miss Fidget, for Scandal: Miss Amoret, for Discoveries; Miss Phillis, for Love Affairs; and Miss Euphemia, for Politics.

I then ask'd them, if they were satisfied in their respective Employments? which was answered, in one general Voice, CONTENT: Upon which, they immediately paid their Obedience to the Chair, and retired.

'Tis strange! when we consider, how fretful and tormenting a Passion Envy is; that even in the most trivial Affairs, she seldom fails to take her Seat.

If we may compare great Things by small, here is sufficient room for Reflection.

Envy, without any manner of Dispute, must be delineated from Jealousy; which is an Argument, that we are conscious of our own Merit. This I take to be the most restive Part of us; mean, and base.

True Virtue can have no mercenary Considerations; and a Man's own Conscience is a Sufficient Theatre to represent it. Were every One to lay aside all Personal and Self-interested Considerations, we should keep within Bounds, and throw off all that Part which is superfluous, unnatural, and vicious. But some look, with an envious Eye, upon their prosperous Neighbours; others, upon Offices of Profit and Honour, &c. These are the most miserable of Men being.

The generous Part of Mankind, are free from Vehemence and Contention; their Behaviour modest and chaste, their Discourse easy and pleasant, void of Slander or Detraction; whereas the contrary Temper is trifling and impertinent, rough and harsh, and all their abstruse Speculations, amount to nothing more than Heat, Clamour, and Contradiction.

Si vis me flere, dolendum est Primum ipsi tibi.