Alexandria Gazette

KAINTUCK AND THE FIDDLER.

On board the steamer Indiana, in one of her trips down the Mississippi, were a large number of good natured passengers. They were seeking to while away the hour according to their several notions of pleasure and would have got on very well but for one annoyance. There happened to be on board a Hoosier on the Wabash who was going 'down to New Orleans,' and he had provided himself with an old violin, fancying that he could fiddle as well as the best man, and planting himself where he could attract attention, scraped away. The fellow couldn't fiddle any more than a setting hen, and the horrible noise disturbed his fellow passengers excessively. A Frenchman of very delicate nerves, and a very fine musical ear, was especially annoyed. He fluttered, fidgetted, and swore at the "sacre" fiddler. The passengers tried various experiments, to rid themselves of the Hoosier and his fiddle; it was no go—he would music just as long as he 'd please.' At last a big Kentuckian sprang from his seat, saying, I reckon I'll fix him, placed himself near the amateur fiddler, and commenced braying with all his might. The effect of the move was beyond description. Old Kaintuck 'brayed so loud' that he drowned the screeching of the fiddle, and amid the shouts of the passengers, the discomfited Hoosier retreated below, leaving the victory of the unequal contest with the Kentuckian and his singular impromptu imitation of Balaam's friend. The delight of the Frenchman knew no bounds; quiet was restored for the day. During the night the Kentuckian left the boat. The next morning after breakfast the passengers were startled by the discordant sound of their old tormentor; Hoosier had discovered that the coast was clear, and was bound to revenge himself on the passengers. Loud and worse than ever screamed the fiddle. The Frenchman, just seated to read his paper, on the first sound, rose and looked anxiously around, shrugged his shoulders and then shouted "Vare is he! Quoek-queek, Mon Dieu! Vare is Mopsieur Kentuck, de man vat play on de jackass!"