The Alexandria Herald

MISCELLANEOUS.

Mr. Pittman--The following beautiful amalgum of nonsense, accidentally came into my possession; and as I am fond of genuine poetry I could not repress an irresistible inclination to endeavour at least, to expose to the votarics of the muses and the lovers of the classics its unexampled evidence of byperbolical rhythm. Your inserting the piece with its concomitant remarks, will oblige
A FRIEND.

From the Raleigh Star.

"Mr. Editor--This is the first poetical effort of Zero, and should he find a favorable place in your paper, he will invoke his muse more seriously hereafter, for the edification of your readers.

On the uncertainty of dreams; they may please the fancy in one minute, and annoy it in another.
The vision of the mind transports us into light,
Decorates the scene and 'meliorates the sight;
She sports with us in transitive play,
Warms our senses and makes it appear day.
But all at once false delusion flies,
Grating to our senses and opening our eyes;
Then sorrow seizes the wakened mind,
To know it was delusion while blind.
He closes his eyes to renew the scene,
Bu: this sportive genius, false as mean,
Conveys him to the horrors of a hell,
And tolls in his ears the ringing of the bell.
The trembling mortal in his downy coach,
Goes to old "Pluto" to receive the harsh sentence!
There in his majestic presence he views
His fiery mien, and receives the news,
depart ye cursed.
Then to the river Styx he stalks,
Quivering in his numerous balks
Soon, over Styx his passage he makes,
And quickly lands in the fiery lakes;
So, in the agonies of his mind,
He wakes and sees he was but blind.
Warrenton, March 28.
ZERO."

LINE THE FIRST.--How a vision can be transported, I have not mercantile knowledge sufficient to say; and into light, I am still more at a loss, unless a second New Holland were established in the north and the dreaming convicts were doomed to behold the splendours of an Aurora Borealis.

LINE THE SECOND.--"The vision of the mind, 'meliorates the sight." I would certainly advise those who have sore eyes to dream as much as possible.

LINE THE THIRD.--"She sports with us," &c. By what grammatical rule he places the verb mind in the feminine gender I am totally at a loss to say.

LINE THE FOURTH.--The mind it seems warms the senses, and makes it appear day. What is it that appears day? Not the mind certainly--for to say the mind appears day would be nonsense in the extreme, and if he refers to the senses, I should suppose the substantive all should have been used instead of the pronoun it.

LINES FIFTH AND SIXTH.--It seems that because a false delusion flies from him that it offends the eyes of the gentleman and his senses are exceedingly disturbed. In consequence thereof, I should suppose his senses ought very calmly to bear the departure of such an unwelcome visitant.

LINES SEVENTH AND EIGHTH.--After his eyes are opened, it seems that he becomes very sorrowful--much troubled in spirits, to know that he had been blind, whilst his eyes were shut, and governed by delusion, when asleep. What a dreamer he was truly!

LINES NINE TEN AND ELEVEN--He goes to sleep again, it seems--perhaps turned over in his bed, and though in great tribulation tries to renew the scene' that is, to become troubled as much as ever with blindness and delusion. In the mean time some "sportive genius" who bye the bye I know not, but who appears from his animated description to be a pitiful liar, conveys my gentleman "to the horrors of hell," whether hell and its horrors, are distinct bodies, I know not but Zero, it seems, escaped the one, but alas was doomed to endure the other.

LINE THE TWELFTH.--"And tolled in his ears the ringing of the bell." I suppose this bell ringing was a signal or breakfast.

LINE THE THIRTEENTH.--A "Coach of down" needs no comment.

LINES FOURTEENTH, FIFTEENTH, SIXTEENTH AND SEVENTEENTH.--Old Pluto it seems with a very angry brow, kicks the poor sleeping mortal even out of hell. What a poor devil he must have been--
when the infernal regions were too good for him to dwell in.

LINES EIGHTEENTH AND NINETEENTH.
"Then to the river Styx he stalks
Quivering in his numerous balks."
I should suppose that the vicinity of hell would afford more warmth, than to send a poor devil from its confines: quivering, shivering and shaking, and we must necessarily imagine from the use which he makes of the word balks, that his non-admission into the lower regions was a serious disappointment to him. Lucifer must have been in a bad humour that morning.

Lines twentieth and twenty first.--
He gets a passage however over the Styx, and no doubt feeling himself rather chilly, takes the liberty of landing in the fiery lakes.

LINES TWENTY-SECOND AND TWENTY-THIRD.--And so at last he wakens up in the "agonies of his mind," or rather I should think from having put his toes in the fiery lakes, and the first thing he sees is that he is blind. And a most wonderful discovery it was.

Zero, you have frozen the sacred stream of Helicon; and the buds and flowers of Parnassus are fast fading away beneath the powerful effect of your blighting influence, when you visit the dominions of Lucifer again be pleased to gather from some of the unfortunate sons of song who perhaps may reside in his territories a few hints which may enable you in our upper world to pay a little more respect, to measure and metre, and impress upon your mind, the simple fact that coach and sentence will not rhyme.