The Virginia Gazette

Messrs HALL and SELLERS,

A GENTLEMAN of Distinction, from a southern Colony, happened to dine in a large Company a few Days ago, and hearing some Persons complain of the intense Heat of the Sun asked why the Gentlemen in this City did not fall upon Methods of rendering it more tolerable, and in particular why they did not use Umbrellas to shade themselves. One of the Company expressed his Surprize at this Speech, and said that for his Part he thought them very ridiculous, that a good large Hat would answer equally well, and that they looked very effeminate. To this the Gentleman very pertinently replied, "all our Notions of Propriety and Impropriety are formed by Custom. Should an East Indian appear in our Streets we should gaze with a Mixture of Surprize and Ridicule at his Turban and flowing Robes, while at the same Time we can hardly believe that an Englishman would be much more ridiculous in any Part of India in the modern European Dress. In like Manner, Should our Ancestors rise from their Graves few of us would know them; or if we did, provided our blind Partiality for the modern Dress continued, few of us would own that we were descended from them. As to the Umbrellas you exclaim against, however ridiculous they may appear to you, Sir, or to any Gentleman in Company, they are looked upon as a graceful Part of Dress in many Countries, and are often carried upon this Account in those Seasons of the Year when they are in some Measure unnecessary. In India, and in most Parts of Asia, a Man would as soon go out of his House without a Shirt as without an Umbrella. In Italy, France, and Spain, they are in every Body's Hands. In the West India Islands, and in most of the southern Colonies, they are so common that none who can afford them ever go out without them."

But (continued the Gentleman) I am far from recommending them as Appendages to Dress, or because they are ornamental. Their great Usefulness alone would overbalance all that could be said against their Propriety, even supposing we had lost that Part of the Argument. They are wide and light, and afford a large Shelter from the Sun. They likewise afford a Shelter from those Summer Showers which are so frequent in these Climates, and are much to be preferred to great Coats and Rockeloes, which do us more Harm by the Heat they occasion than the Rain would have done. Their Colour, moreover (being generally green) is very friendly to the Eyes. Physicians tell us that a long Train of Diseases follow from what they call Inolation, or long Exposure to the Heat of the Sun; such as Vertigoes, Epilepsy, sore Eyes, Fevers, &c. These are all obviated by the Use of the Umbrella. But you say, Sir, that Hats will answer all these Purposes. No such Thing. Custom and Frugality have conspired to dye these black, the worst Colour in the World in hot Weather. Besides, they are heavy, and too small (let their Brims be ever so broad) to afford a complete Shelter from the Rays of the Sun. You say farther that they look effeminate; the Ladies use them only. The Ladies wear Shoes; let the Men therefore go barefoot. The Ladies defend themselves by various Means from Cold, Rain, Thunder, Fire, &c. Let the Men then abandon themselves to the Rage of each of these terrible Evils, and scorn to look effeminate by guarding against them. Absurd Reasoning! Are not the Men exposed more to the Sun than the Women? Does not their Business call them from home at all Hours of the Day? Are not their Lives of equal (I shall not say of greater) Importance to their Families, and to Society, with the Womens? If all these Things are true, then I see no Reason why the Gentlemen should not wear Umbrellas as well as the Ladies."

The Gentleman silenced his Opponent with this Speech. The whole Company assented to what he said. Our kind Host, with as much Wit as good Humour, cried out, "Well said Mr. ; my Wine is good; fill your Glass; my Friend is inspired; and Claret has this Day done the Business."