The Hood River Glacier

New Law Regulating Passes.

J. C. Stubbs, employed by the railroad lines west of Chicago, to analyze the new law regulating the issuing of passes and of granting reduced rates, has recently made a report of his interpretation of the law. He has apparently found what he was instructed to find and has discovered those things which he ought not to have discovered, and not discovered those things which he ought to have discovered and there is no health in him.

While he thinks the law specifies that it is distinctly legal to transport large bodies of government troops at reduced rates of fare, he is just as sure that it is perfectly proper that homeseekers, who usually have not any more of this world's goods than they need, ought to pay full fare. The wandering Thespian must hereafter also disgorge the proceeds of his 10, 20 and 30 cent performance or skip nimbly from tie to tie, in his peregrinations, while employees of the United States geological survey and reclamation service, nuns, sisters of charity, missionaries, national or state officers of religious organizations, teachers and pupils in Indian schools, officers of the Salvation Army and Volunteers of America can recline on the red plush cushions of the railroad company's seats free of charge. Members of unions not employed by the rail road are likewise barred according to Mr. Stubbs, while persons engaged in charitable and missionary work are not exempted.

For straining at gnats and swallowing camels either the law or Mr. Stubbs have broken all previous efforts. If it is the law it reflects the opposite of intelligence on its makers, and if it is Mr. Stubbs it stamps him as the master hair-splitter of the age.