Columbus Whig

From the Fountain Miscellany.

THE SUCCESSFUL COURTSHIP OF MAJOR JONES.

Airville, Dec. 28, 1842

Mr. Thompson Dear Sir: Crismus is over, and the thing's ded. You know I told you in my last letter that I was gwine to bring Miss Mary up to the chalk at Crismus. Wel I done it as slick as a whistle, though it come mighty nigh bein a serious undertaken. But l'll tell you all about the whole circumstances.

The fact is, that I'd made my mind up more'n twenty times to jest go and come right out with the whole business but whenever I got where she was, and whenever she looked at me with her witchin eyes, and kind o' blushed at me, I always felt sort o skeered and faintly, and all what I made up to tell her was forgot, so I couldn't think it to save me. But you're a married man M. Thompson, so I couldn't tell you nothing about popping the question as they cal it. Its a mighty great favor to ax of a rite pretty gal. and to people as ain't used to t, it goes monstrous hard don't it? They say widders don't mind it more'n nothin. But I'm making a transgression, as the preacher ses..

Crismus eve I put on my new suit and shaved my face as slick as a smoothin iron and went over to old Miss Stanley. As soon as I went into the parler whar they was all sitting round the fire, Miss Carline and Miss Kesiah both laughed rite out--

There, there,' ses they, 'I told you so, knew it would be Joseph.'

What's I done Miss Carline?' ses I.

You come under sister's chicken bone, and I do believe she knew you was comin when she put it over the door.'

No, I didn't-I didn't, no such thing now, ses Miss Mary, and her face blushed red all over.

Oh, you nedn't deny it,' ses Miss Kesiah, 'you 'long to Joseph, jes as sure as thar's any charms in the chicken bones.'

I know'd that was a first rate chance to say somethin, but the dear little creater looked so sorry and kept blushing so, I couldn't say nothin zactly to the pint, so I tuck a chair and reached up and took down the bone, and put it in my pocket.

'What are you gwine to do with that bone now, Majer ?' ses Miss Mary.

I'm gwine to keep it as long as I live,' ses I, as a Crismus present from the handsomest gal in Georgia.'

When I sed that she blushed worse and worse.

Ain't you shame Majer ?' ses she.

Now you ought to give her a Crismus gift, Joseph, to keep all her life,' ses Miss Carline.'

Ah,' ses old Miss Stanly, 'when I was a gal we used to hang up our stockins.'--

Why, mother ? says all of 'em, to say stockins rite afore.

Then I felt a little streaked too, caus they was all blushin as hard as they could.

"Highty-tity : ses the old lady--what finey ment. I'd like to know what harm there is in stockins.. People now a days is getting so mealy mouthhed that they cant call nothing by its name, and I don't see as theyre any better than the old time people was. When I was a gal like you, child, I used to hang up my stockins and get em full of presents,

The gals kept laughin.

Never mind,' ses Miss Mary, the Majer's got to give me a Crismus gift-wont you Majer !'

"Oh, yes,' ses I, 'you know I promised you one'

But I didnt mean thal,' ses she,

I've got one for you, what I want you to keep all your life, but it will take a three bushel bag to hold it,' ses I.

Oh, thats the kind,' ses she.

But will you keep as long as you live ! ses I.

'Certainly I will, Majer.,

Now you hear that, Miss Carline,' ses I, she ses she'll keep it all her life.'

Yes, I will,' ses Mary--'but what is it?'

Never mind,' ses I, 'you hang up a bag big enough to hold it and you'll find out in the mornin."

Miss Carline winked at Miss Kesiah and whispered to her-then they both laughed and looked at me as mischevious as they could.-

They spected somethin.

You'll be sure to give it to me now, If I hang up a bag ' ses Miss Mary.

And you promise to keep it ses I.

Well, I will, caus I know you would'nt give me nothin that wasn't worth keepin.'

They all agreed that they would hang up a bag for me to put Miss Mary's Crismus present in, in the back porch, and about nine o'clock i told them good evening and went home.

I set up till about midnight, and when they was all gone to bed I went softly into the back gate, and went up to the porch, and thar shore enuff, was a great big meal bag hanging to the jice:. It was monstrous unhandy to git into. it, but I was tarmined not to back out ? so I sot some chairs on top of a bench and got hold of the rope and let myself down iato the bag, but jest as I was gettin in, the bag s wung agin the chairs, and-down they went with a terrible racket. But nobody didn't wake up but old Stanley's great big cur dog, and here he cum ripin and tarin through: the yard like wrath, and round and round he went,tryin to find what was the matter. : I sot down in the bag and did'nt breath louder nor a kittin, for fear he'd find me out, and after a while he quit barkin.~-The wind began to blow bominable cold, and the old bag kep turnin round and swinging so it made me seasick as the mischief. I was fraid to move for ear the rope would brake and let me fall, and there I sot seemed like it would never coine daylight, and with my teeth ratlin like I had an ager. It I. do believe if I didn't love Miss Mary so powerfully I would froze to deth: for my heart was the only spot that felt warm, and it didn't beat more'n two licks a minit, only when I thought how she would be sprised in the mornin, and then it went into.a canter. Bimeby the cussed old dog come up to the porch and begun to smell bout the bag, and then he barked like he tho't he had treed somethin, Bow, vow, vow, ses he, Then he'd smell agin, and try to git up to the bag. Git out,' ses I, very low, for fear they would hear mo ; Bow, vow, vow. ses he., 'Begond, you bominable fool ses I and I felt all over in spots for I expected every minit he'd nip me, and what made it worsc I couldn't see wbar bouts he'd take hold here, good feller' ses L,and whistled a little to him, but it want no use. Thar he stood and kept up his eternal whining and .barkin. al night. I couldn't tell when daylight was breaking, only by the chickena crowin, and was monstrous glad to hear 'em, gor if I had to stav there one hour more I don't believe I'd ever got out o' that bag alive.

Old Miss Stanley come out fust, and as soon as she saw the ag, sesshe.

Wbat upon earth has Josepb put into that long bag for Mary ? I'll lay its a yearlin tor some Jive enimal, or Broin wouldn't bark at it

She went to call the gal, and I eot there shiv over so I could'nt speak if I tried io- erin allid'nt sayjnothin. Bimeby they all come runnin out but I

My. Lord what is it I' ses Miss Mary.

Oh, it's alive,' ses Kesiab,'I seed it move.'

Call Cato, and miake him cut the rope, ses. Miss Carline, 'and let's see what it is. Come hele, Cato and let this bag down.'

Don't hurt it for the world,' ses Miss Mary.

Cato untied the rope that -was round the jice, and let the bag down on the floor, and I tumbled out all covered with corn meal, from head to foot.

roodness grac us !' ses Miss Mary, if it athe Majer himself ?

fes,' ses I, 'and you know you promised to keep my Crismus present as long as you lived. L.! 1

The gals laughed themselves almost to deth, and went to brushin off the meal as fast as they could, sayin they was gwine to hang up that bag every Crismus till they got busbands too, Miss Mary /blou hor bright eyes, aha blushed as beautiful as a mornin-glory, and sed she'd stick to her word, and her hair wasn't combed, and her head waen't fixt at all but the way she looked pretty was rale die- tractin. I do delieve that if I was frozen etiff one look at her charmin face as she stook look. ing down to the floor with her, rogigh eyes, and her bright curl's falling all over snowy neck, wold otch'd me too. I tell you what, it was worth hanging in a meal bag fren one Crismus to another to feel so happy as I have ever since,

I went home after we had the langh out and set by the fire till I had thawed, In the fore. noon all the Stanleys come over to our house and we had one of the greatest Crismus din- ners that was ever seed in Georgia, and dont believe a happier company ever sot down at the same table" Old Miss Stanley and mother settled the match and talked over every thing that ever harpened in their families, and laugh- ed at me and Mary, and cried about their dead husbands caus they wasn't alive to see their children married. ,It is al settled now, cept we hai nt sot the weddin day. I'd like to have it all over at once but young gals always like to'be engaged a while, you know, so spose I must wait a month or so. Mary (she says I must call her Miss Mary now) bas been a good deal trouble and botherason to me but if you could see her, you would'nt think I ought to grudge a little sufferin to get such a sweet little wife.

You must come to the weddin if you possi- bly kin. I'll let you know. No more from your riend till death.

JOS. JONES