The Wilmingtonian, And Delaware Register

ADVENTURE OF GREEN PEAS.

The following anecdotes contain some singular and truly comic events, as they really happened at Paris, without any alteration or addition of circumstances.

In the spring of the year a young gentleman of great fortune, being desirous of presenting something very rare to his mistress, enquired in the suburbs of Paris for Green Peas, and with great difficulty procured half pint bottles; for each of which he paid six Louis d'ors; a most extravagant price; but it was the only valuable present he could think of, which the delicacy of his mistress would not make her refuse—for the lady was of a haughty disposition, and would not have accepted any thing which might subject her to the imputation of selfishness.

It is not certain if the Chevalier gave orders that she should be informed of the price, or whether the season of the year, and the knowledge of their rarity made her guess it; however, as she was more of the coquette than the epicure, she could not help telling the messenger, that the gentleman who bought them, apparently had more money than wit. Her mother who was naturally avaricious, finding her of this opinion, proposed to sell the peas; and after some altercation she got the better of her delicacy, and made her consent to send them to market, where none was expected. The old lady luckily was acquainted with an old woman, whose business it was to give intelligence to the stewards of the people of quality, of every thing scarce, the first of this kind that was to be purchased.

This woman undertook the commission to sell the peas, and set out in the intention to carry them to the hotel of the Prince de Conde, who was to give a superb entertainment that day to the foreign ministers. In the interval, another admirer of the young lady paid her a visit, and the conversation turned upon the backwardness of the spring, she accidentally mentioned the scarcity of green peas, which made him conjecture that she had a desire to taste them. He therefore shortened his visit, making some plausible excuse, and repaired to the most celebrated fruiterers in Paris; but to his mortification all the intelligence he could procure was, that none had appeared, except four bottles, which an old woman had been seen conveying to the Prince de Conde's. The hopes of our enamorata now revived, he lost no time, and fortunately overtaking the woman, who knew him, before she reached the hotel, he thought himself very happy to obtain them at the moderate sum of thirty Louis—The emissary equally overjoyed, returned to her employers with the money, and told the young lady who had purchased them. But though she had no objection to the money, she was extremely piqued that her favorite lover had bought them, not doubting they were designed for some formidable rival; and in this conjecture she was confirmed, by the abrupt manner in which he had shortened his visit, and left her.—Distracted with jealousy she imparted her sentiments to a female visitant, and both were earnestly employed at railing at the infidelity of mankind, when behold one of the servants of the suspected lover was introduced, who brought a basket from his master, decorated with flowers in season, and covered with nosegays, which being removed, the triumphant fair discovered the green peas, and thus her chagrin was instantly converted into immoderate fits of laughter at this droll adventure. As for the visitor being quite familiar in the house, and fond of dainties, she insisted on eating the peas, that they might not cause any more confusion in the family. But as her motion was easily discerned, they went no further than the rules of politeness required, and only dressed one bottle.

After the lady had gone, a new council was held to deliberate on the disposal of the remainder.—The daughter had now no objection to sell them again, but the mother having a law suit in hand, thought it more to her interest to send them to her attorney, which was accordingly done; and occasioned a very warm dispute between him and his wife; Madame loved good cheer, and insisted on regaling her friends with this rarity; but the attorney knew better how to serve his own interest, and sent them to the Marquis *****, who had promised to procure him preferment.

But scarce were the peas set down upon the table, when the lover who had adorned the basket with flowers came to visit the Marquis, and seeing his present to his mistress, thus as it were fly in his face, he concealed his resentment, but took the first opportunity to pay a visit to his perfidious mistress, who very coolly thanked him for his peas, adding that they had an excellent flavor: Enraged at her carrying the matter so far, he then told her that she must wait till the Marquis had tasted them, before she gave her opinion of their goodness. The lady at a loss to guess his meaning, and confounded at the violence of his transports, demanded an explanation; he then related to her the incident, but she not suspecting what had happened, affirmed that they were not the same peas—this enraged him still more, and he required to see the basket in which he himself had placed the bottles, and which he had adorned with flowers; not being able to produce it, the quarrel seemed to admit of no terms of accommodation; when in came the peas again. The Marquis, who had a secret inclination for the lady, (the greatest beauty in Paris) thought them a very proper present for her. Our lover was now fully convinced that the Marquis could not be so absurd as to send his mistress her present to him, yet he was convinced they were the same peas. The mother therefore was obliged to confess the truth; it was then determined to sacrifice the travelling peas to the call of nature; and they were accordingly consumed by the parties most deeply interested in their fate.