The New Hampshire Gazette And Historical Chronicle

To the PRINTER,

HERE is an evil (to speak in the language of Solomon) under the sun, which is too frequently met with in the lower orders of life, and which seems almost too firmly rooted to be removed by simple reproofs.—This evil is an universal affectation of dress which prevails among the sons and daughters of inferior mechanics, and which exposes them to the laugh and ridicule of the world, without the least probability of being attended with any good effect. I am seldom more diverted than when I take a turn in the Park of a Sunday, to see what uncommon pains these subaltern men of state make use of to become contemptible. The myriads of gold buttons and loops, high quartered shoes, overgrown ants, and vellum-hole waistcoats, are, to me, an inexhaustible fund of entertainment; I am sure, though I wish for a reformation in mechanical externals, I should be no little sufferer by it. as it would deprive me of many a hearty laugh

I was sitting two or three mornings ago at breakfast, when the servant came in and told me there was a Gentleman below who had some business with me.—I gave immediate orders that the Gentleman should be shewn up, and received him myself with a low bow on the stair-head. My visitant seemed about two and twenty, had very good cloths on, yet was miserably dressed.—His coat was loaded with innumerable gilt buttons ; the cuffs were cut in the shape of a Sea Officer's uniform, and together with the pockets, (for I took particular notice) mounted to no less than twenty four. The skirts were remarkably long, and the cape so contrived as made him appear very round about the shoulders : To this he had a scarlet waistcoat with a narrow gold lace, double lapelled, a pair of Doe skin breeches that came half down his leg, and were almost met by a pair of shoes that reached about three inches and a quarter above his ankle : his hat was of the true Kevenhuller size, and of course decorated with a gold button and loop: his hair was dropped very short behind, and thinned about the middle in such a manner as to make room for displaying a stone stock-buckle of no ordinary dimensions. To complete the picture, he carried a little ratan cane in his hand and by an apparent prominence in his left cheek, made a merit of chewing Tobacco.

Such was the Gentleman who favoured me with a visit.—Begging of him to take a chair, I saw an awkward air of ease, blended with an obvious Forwardness. He seemed inclined to be seated, and yet some how appeared loth.— Stiff and embarrassed, he knew not how to stand. timidly sheepish, was afraid to sit. To relieve his confusion. which it seems my ceremony had thrown him into, I requested to know what had procured me the honour of his company ; upon which he produced the following bit of paper, saying, he had directions to call upon me with it from his father.

The Honourable—Esquire
To Jeremiah Picklock Debtor.
To mending a large Kitchen Poker 0 0 9
To a boulte for the Street door 0 2 0
To a Haspe for the Coach House 0 0 6
Totale 0 3 3

I had no sooner read this accurate bill, than in spite of my utmost efforts, I bursted in a loud laugh : young Mr. Picklock all the time appeared like Master Stephen in Ben Johnson's Comedy, when he is first surveyed by Captain Bobadil. I rang for the servant, and desired him to pay the young man,who thereupon instantly withdrew, not a little glad to be removed from so uneasy a situation.

When I was alone, I could not help reflecting upon the absurdity of a Blacksmith's dressing in so extraordinary a manner ; nor of making some observations very little to the advantage of his father, for suffering an appearance so clumsily foppish and fashionably uncouth. There is an old proverb which says, Win Gold, and wear it ; upon this, I suppose, the generality of these people build their arguments for what THEY call gentility in dress. But there is a necessity for informing them, that no proverb can justify a man's stepping out of his profession to become ridiculous or absurd.—Decency requires every man to be clean and neat, but Prudence must tell him not to exceed the customary bounds, rank, and situation ; and it would be well if such would remember, that the more they endeavour at the appearance of gentlemen, the meaner in reality they approach to be fools.

I am, Sir, &c.