Western Kansas World

They gave a ball at McSweeney's.
Mike Keegan he smoked a cig-yar
He knew that it was im-poor-ted
McGuinness boort it on a kvar
It was woorse than any sto-gie-
Oh. my! though, but wasn't it ran
From the way that Keegan smoked it.
You'd a thought that he owned a ben?
:e smoked it out in the hallway
Wid a plashter back iv his neck,
And-The wind blew through his whis-
kers
Making of them a total wreck,
Through the window he'd left open
He needed a sthiff hur-ri-cane:
But 'twill be many a day, though
Before Keegan will smoke a-gain.
Misses Keegan said, "McSweeney.
Marv Ann's put bad eggs in the duf.'
But Keegan, he calmly stcod there,
And he took another long puff.
Then some one said, "The gas was leaking.
"While others, "A rat had died there,
But Keegan, he kept on smoking
At the foot of the big hall stair.
They ap-pine-ted a com-mit-tee
To dischoover the hor-rid smell
Who got onto Keegan's smoking,
For we soon heard an awful vell
Then something solid a sthriking
The back fence near the big ash dump.
Whisper! We found old Towser dead
Next day-he'd swhallowed Keegan's
sthump.
-Commercial Traveller.