Clearfield Republican

Alarmed.—Old Ben Wade, knowing full well that he has earned the blade of the Assassin, often during his drunken revels, dreams that he is being Assassinated. One night last week, he gave the alarm of murder, but when the inmates of the house entered his room, there stood an undressed statue, about the size of Hon. Ben Wade, United States Senator from Ohio, with a revolver in each hand bellowing Assassin! Assassin!! But upon inquiry, it was found that no one had been in his room that night, except a tall gaunt Divine Yankee, from Mass., who wanted an office: and no instrument of death was found in the room, except the two revolvers under Ben's pillow, which he always carries, and an empty brandy bottle under the bed. This old blood-hound would like to be made a Martyr, but we fear he will be allowed to die a natural death badly mixed with whiskey.