The New Hampshire Gazette And Historical Chronicle

From the Public Advertiser.

To the PRINTER,

Being out of Employ, and hearing that your Paragraph maker is dead, I humbly offer myself a Candidate to succeed him ; flattering myself that I am every Way qualified for that Office ; my Ancestors were all to a Man great Politicians and News Mongers. The latter Part of my Father's Days were pent in the Compter and Bethlehem : and even when there his whole Thoughts and Employ were dedicated to the public Good. How many such Paragraph makers has Boston abounded with ? I mentioned my present Project to a Friend ; he told me that I was mad : that you don't pay People to write you News ; and that I was going the Way my poor Father went..... "Poor Creature's mad I think." If, Sir, I am so lucky as to succeed, it will make me very happy, being at this Time in Want of Monies. It was not always so with me ; for till lately I had a very pretty Shop of Business : I failed ; I could not get my Monies in. Do you know that I had near Forty Shillings owing me when I failed, which was more than would have paid my Creditors ? But to the Purpose : Underwritten is a Specimen of my Abilities. If you approve of it, and will employ me, I promise you never to turn any thing out of my Hands worse. I am, SIR, Your humble Servant. PETER SCRIBBLE.

P. S. If you can spare me so much as Half a crown, without hurting yourself, and Family, I shall be very thankful for it, being really in Want of Monies. You may deduct it out of my first Payment.

I'll call at your House on Sunday, that being the most convenient Day for me at present as my Affairs stand.

If you employ me, I must insist on being allowed one of your Devils to take you the News fast as I make it : my Shoes and Feet being bad, hinders me from running fast. A Devil's Pen will do my Business.

(The Specimen of the Paragraphs are not interesting and therefore omitted.)