New Orleans Republican

Local Intelligence.

A SINGULAR PIECE OF NONSENSE.—Information was sent to police headquarters that in a rear yard, on Dauphin street, a singular entity had been exposed several days, and that the stench from it was quite unbearable. Detectives Poarson and Pecora were directed to make an immediate investigation. They lost no time, but made long strides until they reached the locality named, and in an instant stopped beside a beautiful but finely finished mahogany coffin. It reposed on a carpenter's sawhorse, and beneath lay a new mattress with yellow. On a silver plate was a mournful legend, above which was the word Gipy. The officers did not find it difficult to believe the report that the stench was unbearable. A woman who appeared to be in command of the premises was called on for an explanation. She informed them that several days ago her pet dog had died on the mattress, then under the coffin, and that she mourned its loss more than words could express; indeed, had the defunct been a beautiful and lovely baby, nothing more could have been done for it, and no more luxury could have been bestowed on it. The woman was directed to bury the nuisance, and she did not comply gracefully.