Alexandria Gazette & Daily Advertiser

THE PLANETARY SYSTEM OF THE HEART.

By Augustus Von Kotzebue.

A studious astronomer was taking great pains to instruct a lady in the system of Descartes, according to which, the groups of heavenly bodies consist only of vortices; and those bodies are mutually attracted by nothing but vortices. "My head turns about already," said the fair scholar. "Whether this system is adapted to the heavens, I have not the least desire to know, but I am pleased with it, because in the same manner you may explain the system of the human heart, and that is my world." The astronomer looked at her with astonishment. He had studied the heavens a great deal, but he knew nothing at all concerning the human heart.

"Hear," continued the lady, "how I represent the matter to myself. Every person is such a Cartesian vortex. We constantly require an ether to float in; this ether is Vanity, as the fundamental principles of all our motions; the Heart, the centre of the vortex, is the sun around which the Passions revolve as planets. Each planet has its moons; round Love, for instance, revolves Jealousy. They mutually illuminate each other by reflection; but all their light is borrowed from the heart whose second planet, Ambition, is not so near to it as love, and therefore receives from it a less degree of warmth. Ambition has likewise its moons, many of which shine extremely bright; For instance, Bravery, Magnanimity; while others reflect but a dismal light, as Haughtiness, Arrogance, Flattery. The largest Planet in this system, the Jupiter of the human heart, is Self-interest, which has numberless satellites. Reason has also a little corner; she is our Saturn, who steals away 30 years before we can perceive that she has made one revolution. The comets in my system are no other than Meditations, Reflections; which after many aberrations, go, in a short time, into the vortex of the passions. Experience has taught us, that they have neither a pernicious nor a beneficial influence; they excite in us a little fear, and that is all: the vortex continues its course as before."

The astronomer smiled with open mouth, like one who does not comprehend a thing, but out of politeness, raises no objection to it. "I proceed a little farther still," continued the lady. That involuntary sentiment, denominated Sympathy I compare to the power by which the magnet attracts iron. Both are inexplicable. The solar spots may probably be the effects of age, when the warmth of the heart gradually decreases; for who can answer for it that our sun will not be by degrees extinguished? Then will the universe be as dark and cold as the heart of an old man or a conqueror. The thought is enough to chill one. Farewell!"

The lady skipped away to forget, in a vortex of a sprightly dance, the whole system of Descartes. The astronomer looked after her shaking his head, and compared her to a shooting star.