The New Hampshire Gazette And General Advertiser

MATRIMONIAL DEAFNESS.

Two Ears at a Time are too many for Use,
When they're only the Inlets of Strife;
But see there are found who (tho' wise)
would refuse
To possess these fair Organs of Life.
Yet Deafness sometimes
of
Advantage is
found,
Misfortunes may turn to a Blessing;
For when Nonsense distracts, or when Tumults surround,
They then loose the Pow'r of distressing.
Hence I wisely am taught to be deaf of one
Ear,
While the other for Use I employ,
One Gate I shut up against Trouble and care,
And the other keep open for Joy.
When my Comfort begins her loud Windpipe
to clear,
With a Peal would the World rend asunder,
Serenely I sit, and I cock my deaf Ear,
Unmov'd midst the Roar of the Thunder.
T'other day comes a dun—with good Sir!
You well know—
"What say you?—speak louder a little.
You know, Sir, you borrow'd three
twelve Months ago—
"Alas! Friend. I can't hear a Tittle.
You owe me ten pounds: Then louder be
cries,
And repeats it as strong as he can;
I point to my Ears, and I lift up my Eyes,
Till he hardly can think me the Man.
I as grave as a Don cry "My Hearing"
5
quite lost,
And my money (says he too) I fear
Pox on him! Tis Folly to talk to a
Post,
So he leaves me as mad as a Hare.
Thus my Life Night and Day in soft Indolence flows,
Scolding, dunning, nor brawling I fear.
To married Men all, as ye wish for Repose,