Ypsilanti Sentinel

DOING A LANDLORD.

In the course of our journey from the eastward one chanced to be witness to the acting species of nonchalance—which we set down as one of the coolest pieces of genteel swindling, we have ever seen.

A biped of the genus 'lounger' had been laying for several days in one of the 'crack' Hotels in York State, and his only reply to the third weekly bill presented by his obsequious and obliging host was—that 'he lacked the needful.'—

He had been lavish in his style of living and his bill for wines, cigars, and companions, was by no means light.

The young gentleman was in the room—with a scant trio of boon companions, and ringing the bell, he ordered the champagne and fixings for four.

The servant returned from below with the information that the landlord declined to enlarge his indebtedness—accompanied with a hint that the old account should be first adjusted. He immediately waited upon the landlord—remonstrated with him touching the mortification attendant upon being thus shown up before his friends—the wine up—the party rollicked and finally separated, and the next morning after breakfast the following 'scene' occurred.

'Mr. ——, said the polite landlord—I must now insist upon the immediate adjustment of your account.'

'Can't meet it, sir, to-day, really!'

'And why not, sir?'

'Haven't the tin, by Jove, sir.'

'By Jove'

'And probably won't have?'

'Probably not, sir, at present.'

'When do you propose to settle it?'

'Couldn't say sir, upon my honor.'

'Have you the slightest idea of paying it at all?'

'I confess, sir, the prospect is exceedingly dubious!'

'Your luggage is in my room, sir.'

'I shall detain your trunks then.'

'Do, if you please, sir!'

'The largest,'

'but is filled with wood sir?'

'With wood? and'

'The best kind of Eastern wood.'

'And the other trunk'

'It contains the same article, sawed and split!'

'And your wardrobe'

'—is on my back, sir.'

'Upon my word, you take it coolly'

'—I always do, landlord. The world owes me a living, and I must have it.'

'You are a scamp, sir.'

'I know it. You, sir, are a gentleman and I am aware'

'Our host stopped him—but his lips—but a moment afterward, turned to the bar, and placed a bottle of wine upon the side table near by. Having filled a brace of glasses, he handed one of them to the sucker, and the liquor disappeared. He then presented him with a cigar.'

'Take another'—said the landlord in the politest possible manner—'take half a dozen, sir, there, that will do. The world may owe you a living, perhaps it does. I think you will agree with me, however, that I have paid my share of the account.

I have, in my day seen a good deal of impudence, and my calling has brought me in contact with a great variety of rascality, but I must say, without intending however, to be too personal in this matter, that without exception you are the coolest specimen of a genuine scamp that it has ever been my ill luck to meet with—John!'

A burly servant answered this summons.

'John remove this fellow to the street—and if you value your situation, see that he doesn't return!'

The hint was enough—our customer didn't wait for further demonstrations; but immediately decamped, to 'do' some other host—while his gentlemanly landlord proceeded to examine these trunks, the contents of which, as it turned out, had been faithfully described!