The New Hampshire Gazette

Mr. Markham's Reply.

Things which are absolutely false, my Friends insist upon my replying to it. To the first Allegation, That a certain Girl has complained upon Oath, that she is pregnant by me: I answer, That I am informed, the Law has put it in the Power of any Prostitute to fix a Child upon a Person, who may notwithstanding be innocent, and admits of no negative Proof. But even admitting this Accusation to be true, Mrs. Markham should not upbraid me with it (according to another Proverb as homely as that alluded to by her:) For I insist she told, that one Z....... C...... had frequently the Use of her Body, and was as welcome to it as I: Now this being confirmed by F. C. himself to my Face to be a Truth, where remains the Doubt? Nay, she has even extended her Favours to a married Man.

She accuses me of striking her in Bed; this I deny; tho' I must admit, her bad Usage to me has rendered her less amiable, and consequently that same Bed has not been lately so agreeable to both Parties as it has been formerly. She calls me Proteus. There I confess Mrs. Markham posed me, and I had Recourse to several Masters of Vessels in order to have explained who he could be. They answered, they knew him an Acquaintance of mine and Mrs. Markham's (who not, nor had ever heard of him: But meeting with one who had been educated at College, and had read her Advertisement) he informed me, that this same Proteus was a Heathen God, who would turn himself into any Shape; but, said he, "I don't know that the Comparison lies between you and him; but you may perhaps retort the Name of Melalina upon her;" and added, "It was a great Pity, that a Woman, who in her Writing discovered such a Knowledge of the Ethnick Mythology, and of Law, should behave so as to give me so much Trouble and Uneasiness. But for my Part, I wish she had been addicted to reading some godly Book, rather than such Heathenish Authors, from which (I fear) she has learnt no Good; or had taken more Care of what was once our mutual Interest. But on the contrary, she has been famous (or rather infamous) for keeping bad Hours, and leading a dissolute Life, notorious enough to her Relations and Neighbours: Would never behave as an industrious Yoke Fellow, but suffer my Provisions to spoil thro' Negligence: Has frequently threatened to poison me; and actually stuffed my Victuals with Pins, thinking thereby to destroy me. Now which of us was in most Danger, let the World judge. -- She has got a Knack at writing well, and tells her Story with great Plausibility, but (to my Sorrow) her Language to me in private, has not been quite so refined. --

Just before I went my last Voyage, I gave her Sixteen Dollars in Gold and Silver, a Note of Hand of one Gage for £85, (which Sum she received soon after my Departure) and I directed her Father to pay her £108 0. T. which he owed me for Goods: I gave her a Piece of Holland, Ditto of Cambrick, Plenty of Cotton Wool, Corn of all Sorts, 20 lb. of Coffee, 7 Cord of Wood ready sawed, Store of Roots, an Order to receive Molasses. Would not all this content any reasonable Woman for the Space of four Months? (for I think I was not longer absent:) Or what Want was there of an Asylum, when I had hired Part of the House of the Widow Davis in Portsmouth for her Accommodation, and paid the Rent to the Time of my Return; if that Place did not suit her Intrigues, am I to blame? -- Thus far to satisfy the Publick. -- But I myself am Judge of my own Behaviour, and that of my Wife." And until that Time comes (as prophesied by her) wherein Cuckoldom is to be unrestrained, Indolence and Extravagance encouraged by Law, and the gray Mare become the better Horse by Authority, I do persist in cautioning all Persons from giving Mrs. Markham Credit on my Account, as I will not pay any Debts she may contract from the Date of my first Advertisement.

Patrick Markham.