The East Hartford Gazette

BY RICHARD A. WOODLEY
'Why do you have such big cars in America,' a Dane asked me in a Copenhagen restaurant last year, 'What do you do with them?'
'We just drive them around,' I said. 'Just like you drive your little ones around.'
'Why don't you drive little ones around?' he asked.
'The highways are very big in America,' I said, 'we need big cars for the big highways.'
'To get from one side to the other,' he asked, 'are they so big?'
'They're regular highways just like yours, just bigger.'
'I never saw anything so big as your cars. America is very big, everything in America is very big. I never heard of so many big things. Why so many big things?'
'We have comfortable things,' I answered, 'big cars are very comfortable.'
'I heard about that too,' he said. 'And so many horsepowers, I never heard of so many horsepowers. Horse powers don't make you comfortable.'
'Highways are very long in America. We need a lot of horsepower for the long drives and the hills. Speed limits are high. We need a lot of horsepower to keep up with the speed limits.'
'I saw a Cadillac yesterday trying to turn the corner from Vesterbrogade. It took him four minutes to get around that corner. He couldn't get through the bicycles. Bicycles were zipping by on the right, and his car was too big on the left. There he was--half the car on Vesterbrogade, half by the entrance to Tivoli--he couldn't move. All those horsepowers roaring away, all that comfort--is that sensible?'
'It's American,' I said, 'corners are bigger in America, and there ain't any bicycles to speak of. You can't judge American cars in Copenhagen.'
'American cars ought to stay in America. There aren't any Danish cars in America.'
'Denmark doesn't make any cars,' I said.
'America makes too many cars,' he said, standing up, 'and Coca-Colas, Coca-Colas aren't comfortable.'
'I don't like Coca-Colas either,' I said.
'You're a good American. There's a lot of good Americans,' he said.
'I like Americans,' I said.
'Denmark makes Danish beer,' he said, 'You like Danish beer?'
'It's very strong,' I said.
'It's stronger than American beer,' he said, 'Denmark makes beer stronger than America does.'
'Maybe that's why Denmark doesn't make cars,' I said.
'I have a sister in America,' he said, 'She has a big car. In letters she tells me about the car. It's too big and goes too fast. I think she's coming home.'
'Because of the big cars?' I asked.
'She didn't say why she was coming home. I need a beer. I'll buy you a Danish beer.'
'You have one in your hand,' I said.
'I'll buy,' he said, 'Danish beer is strong and comfortable too.'