Worcester Daily Press

AN INVENTION THAT WILL DO AWAY

WITH PIPES AND CIGARS-WILL

IT WORK?

[From the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise.]

Prof. Maulesel, a German gentleman who
has recently arrived in this city, has secured
a suitable lot on South G street, and is about
to erect extensive works which will prove of
almost incalculable advantage to all lovers
of the "weed," and which will obviate the
necessity for both pipes and cigars. The
works he is about to erect will bear a striking
resemblance to the works of the Virginia
City gas company. There will be large retorts
in which tobacco will be burned and
the smoke thus produced will pass through
proper pipes to a large bell-shaped receptacle
of boiler iron, somewhat resembling a gasometer,
where it will be cooled and purified
and so scented that it shall have the flavor of
the finest Havana cigar. To this product of
his retorts and purifying apparatus the professor
has given the name of "Tabaskine;"
but for convenience we will call it by a less
scientific name, that of smoke, which, after
all, it is.

From the smokeometer a main pipe will
lead up into the city, and from this will be
small branch pipes leading to all the principal
houses and saloons in the town. In every
house where the smoke is taken there will
be placed a meter, similar to a gas meter,
but much more delicately constructed. Running
from these meters will be pipes leading
to all the rooms in the house, and connected
with these pipes, at convenient points, will
be long flexible tubes, each tipped with a
handsome amber mouth-piece for the comfort
and convenience of smokers.

When a man desires to take a smoke he
has not to go to the trouble of hunting up
tobacco and filling his pipe, then of finding
and lighting a match, and perhaps burning
his fingers, and afterward getting fire and
ashes upon his clothes half a dozen times before
his smoke is ended. There is none of
this trouble and vexation. He has only to
place the amber mouth-piece between his
lips, turn a small silver thumbscrew, and the
cool, delicious, perfumed smoke glides into
his mouth. By this ingenious and delightful
arrangement all danger of fires from
pipes and cigars will be obviated, and
millions in valuable property annually
saved.

The rates of insurance of those who have
neither pipes nor cigars in use upon their
premises will be greatly reduced, and in this
one item the professor calculates that the
cost of introducing the smoke into an ordinary
family residence will be saved each
year. By the new plan a man may lie in his
bed and smoke with perfect impunity and
the greatest imaginable comfort. In the saloons
there will be a row of comfortable
sofas along one side of the room, with flexible
stems hanging conveniently down from
a pipe concealed in the wall, where a man
may seat himself, and, by attaching his private
mouth-piece, may have a delicious
smoke at (according to the calculations of
Prof. Maulesel) less than half the cost of the
commonest cigars, such as are known as the
"bull-teamster regalia"
and "Mongolian
stinker."

But some may ask, "How is a smoker of
the inveterate class to have his smoke when
walking the streets or traveling?" This has
also been thought of and provided for by the
professor. Nothing is easier, and at the
same time the arrangement for smoking
while walking the streets is not only most
convenient, but is such as adds greatly to
the personal appearance of the man using
the little apparatus. It is well known that
most men are rather flat chested, and taking
a hint from this the professor has invented
an India rubber receptacle fitting to the
shape, which, when inflated with the smoke,
gives the wearer a breast like that of a member
of the National guard. To inflate this
before starting out for a walk is but the
work of a moment. Connected with it is a
handsomely braided, flexible stem, ending in
a neat amber mouth-piece, which is tucked
into the vest pocket. When not in use this
stem, in nine cases out of ten, would be
mistaken for a handsome watchguard, as it
is generally ornamented with a locket or two
or three elegant charms. In case the reservoir
should at any time become exhausted
while the smoker is out walking it is very
easy to step into the nearest saloon and have
it refilled.

As the smoke comes from the works freed
from nicotine and all other deleterious elements,
and is most delicately and delightfully
perfumed, it is expected that it will at
once become exceedingly popular among the
ladies. Instead of their use of it being offensive
it will prove quite the contrary, as
by means of it they will shed abroad
wherever they may go a most ravishing
aroma. They will have for their use elegantly
carved amber mouth-pieces, hooped
about with gold and set with diamonds and
other gems. When out walking their reservoir
of smoke will be contained in the pannier,
to which it will impart a much more
symmetrical shape than can be attained by
the use of newspapers; besides, by giving
the rubber of the smoke tank a suitable
thickness and strength, it will be found to
be very convenient when the wearer desires
to sit, as it will serve as a cushion, a something
which is often a great convenience and
comfort. Due notice in regard to terms per
month, quarter, and year will be given in a
few days. Men are now engaged in grading
the lot on which the works will be erected,
and the necessary machinery is on the way
from New York and will soon be on the
ground.