Portage Sentinel

The Yankee and the Pavement.

A few days ago, as Mr. Josiah Purdey, from the State of Maine was endeavoring to catch a glimpse of the rainbow in the Park fountain, he was accosted very politely by a young man very genteelly dressed and who by the crape on his hat it would appear, was in deep mourning.

The young man had gently tapped him on the shoulder and as our Yankee friend looked around he said--"I believe your name is Purdey?"

"Yes, sir; that's my name," replied the individual addressed

"You are from Maine said the stranger.

"I haint from any where else," replied Josiah.

"Mr. Purdey you must excuse me," continued the stranger for introducing myself to you, but I saw you at the Howard house to-day at dinner and being from the same state I thought I would like to know you, my name is Funk, Peter Funk, at your service."

"Darned glad to see you," said Josiah, shaking his hand cordially, "how were all the folks to hum when you left?"

"In excellent health--but I think Mr. Purdy that I will return shortly--I've got tired of the city and would like to go home --but the fact is I hate to expose my poverty to a stranger--

"Darn drat the stranger--I understand it all you are busted."

"Yes, replied Mr. Funk mournfully, "I'm dead broke--I have parted with nearly everything, rings, breastpins, lockets. and other loved keepsakes--I've now nothing left but a gold watch, the last relic"--as he mentioned relic' he grew sadder--"I didn't mean to part with it--it was left me in my uncles will--God bless his memory!"

At this part of the conversation the pathetic Funk was obliged to bring from the bottom of a very deep pocket a very red handkerchief with which he wiped his eyes in a manner hardly called for--"Necessity has no law you know Mr. Purdy, and I must sell it or put it up the spout--oh! it's very hard he gave one hundred and seventy-five dollars for that watch at Tenney's, and I would be glad to let it go for half the money--if I was sure I could but get it back--if I was quite sure, I would sell it for sixty dollars.

"Wall, now, I don't want to see you in distress, I'll take your watch, so put on a laughing face."

"You will take the watch!"

"Sartin sure," said Josiah, "and there's the money."

"May you live a thousand years?" ejaculated Mr, Funk, as he grasped his hand with the money very affectionately "may you live a thousand years. And now as you have performed a great favor for me, I'll not be ungrateful--I'll do something in return for you I'll put you in the way to make your fortune.

"You will? Je-mi-ma! how you talk!"

"Of course you have heard of the Russ pavement?"

"Oh yes; I've heard tell of the Rushin pavement in the papers--it's one of the capitalist things on airth."

"In a short time the whole city will be on a fortune--it was, an immense idea that of the Russ pavement, Mr. Purdy immense.

"I kalkilate I'd like to own a share or two in that ere stock said Josiah, growing interested, "I kinder reckon it aint a bad piece of property.

"You are right and Ill do you a favor --when I came to the city I purchased fifty shares of the capital stock of the Russ pavement at one dollar per share, being rather hard up and about to leave the city you see, I'm willing to sell at a reduced price. Fifty cents a piece for my fifty shares, I think would be reasonable enough

"Sartin it is." replied Josiah, "and I kalkilate I'll take them all--fifty more too if you had the critters."

"Sorry I can't accommodate you" replied Mr. Funk, as he handed him what he called "an acknowledgement" and received the money--"sorry I can't accommodate you— but never mind--you will find plenty of chances to speculate if you only keep your eyes open. Before I leave you, Mr. Purdy, allow me to present you with a season ticket for the free baths at pier No. I North River, and while I think of it one to see the elephant."

"Never mind about the elephant, I've seen the critter and fed him too, I have when the show was to hum."

"Well I'll see you to-morrow," said Mr Peter Funk, and he bade Mr. Josiah Purdy from the state of Maine "good morning.

When he mentioned his little affair with the stranger at the hotel. he was told that he had been "done for," and sure enough on going before the chief of the police he was informed that his watch was not worth a copper, and that there was no Russ pavement company in existence; and that however good the pavement might be, his stock was worthless.

Josiah on counting up the costs came to the conclusion that he had "fed the critter" in earnest.