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Poem
May 3, 1936
Atlanta Daily World
Atlanta, Fulton County, Georgia
What is this article about?
A satirical narrative from the perspective of a deceased man critiquing the hypocrisy, extravagance, and insincerity surrounding his funeral, inheritance concerns, and posthumous praises.
Clipping
OCR Quality
90%
Excellent
Full Text
WHAT SAM SAYS
AUBURN AVENUE
The Thoughts Of A Dead Man
Well, I am dead at last
There is a scramble among the undertakers as to who shall and who shant
Now there's the family in the next room crying
But way down in their hearts they are wondering just what I left
The undertaker kindly asks for the insurance papers
Humph, he has sense
He believes in safety first
All my insurance is paid up.
So he gets more sympathetic
He is telling my folks what a good man I was AND HOW SORRY HE WAS TO HEAR OF MY PASSING
He knows good and well that if people lived forever he would have to close his doors
I thought sure I was going to get some rest, but here comes that mob
Oh my Lord, they are going to have a setting up
It's mid-night now.
And how I wish some of these hypocrites would stop singing
Some of them have been drinking coffee to keep awake
If my folks knew how I needed rest, they would have given them sleeping powders
I wish they would open the windows to let in some fresh air.
All those sixteens they are drinking make a goose even want some fresh air
Guess I'll get some rest some day
Well, I'll have to be sanctified and tormented with that noise for a long time... They're saving me for Sunday
It's Sunday, and I'll soon be in the ground
My gracious, just look at the flowers they are sending
Suppose they had given me the money while I was living that they are spending for flowers now that I am dead... I might not have been dead today.
I could have had my operation. I could have been alive
Oh well, people will give a $10 floral to the dead and won't give you a dime when you need it... Well, I am now on my last go round
The undertaker is arranging the flower girls... They have been trying to see which one can out dress the other as they want to make a big show
Look at that procession behind me
Here I am in the church and I have to listen to this long exercise
What nice things they are saying about me
I really believe they got me mixed up with some one else
Darn if I knew I was that good
There is a man commenting on me
I wish he had paid me that fifty cents that he borrowed from me
They are preaching my funeral now
The preacher tells what I PUT IN the community and if the truth were told he would be saying what I WAS TRYING TO TAKE OUT OF the community
Well at last I am on the way to my grave
A car load of people in the procession are discussing what my poor widow is going to do
Well, you are giving her a lift to the poor house right now
Remember that automobile you are riding to the cemetery in is costing her something, seven dollars
Thank Heaven! the last shovel of dirt is thrown over me
I am at rest at last
I did all I could
Now for some good rest The relatives go home to fuss and fight over what I left behind
AUBURN AVENUE
The Thoughts Of A Dead Man
Well, I am dead at last
There is a scramble among the undertakers as to who shall and who shant
Now there's the family in the next room crying
But way down in their hearts they are wondering just what I left
The undertaker kindly asks for the insurance papers
Humph, he has sense
He believes in safety first
All my insurance is paid up.
So he gets more sympathetic
He is telling my folks what a good man I was AND HOW SORRY HE WAS TO HEAR OF MY PASSING
He knows good and well that if people lived forever he would have to close his doors
I thought sure I was going to get some rest, but here comes that mob
Oh my Lord, they are going to have a setting up
It's mid-night now.
And how I wish some of these hypocrites would stop singing
Some of them have been drinking coffee to keep awake
If my folks knew how I needed rest, they would have given them sleeping powders
I wish they would open the windows to let in some fresh air.
All those sixteens they are drinking make a goose even want some fresh air
Guess I'll get some rest some day
Well, I'll have to be sanctified and tormented with that noise for a long time... They're saving me for Sunday
It's Sunday, and I'll soon be in the ground
My gracious, just look at the flowers they are sending
Suppose they had given me the money while I was living that they are spending for flowers now that I am dead... I might not have been dead today.
I could have had my operation. I could have been alive
Oh well, people will give a $10 floral to the dead and won't give you a dime when you need it... Well, I am now on my last go round
The undertaker is arranging the flower girls... They have been trying to see which one can out dress the other as they want to make a big show
Look at that procession behind me
Here I am in the church and I have to listen to this long exercise
What nice things they are saying about me
I really believe they got me mixed up with some one else
Darn if I knew I was that good
There is a man commenting on me
I wish he had paid me that fifty cents that he borrowed from me
They are preaching my funeral now
The preacher tells what I PUT IN the community and if the truth were told he would be saying what I WAS TRYING TO TAKE OUT OF the community
Well at last I am on the way to my grave
A car load of people in the procession are discussing what my poor widow is going to do
Well, you are giving her a lift to the poor house right now
Remember that automobile you are riding to the cemetery in is costing her something, seven dollars
Thank Heaven! the last shovel of dirt is thrown over me
I am at rest at last
I did all I could
Now for some good rest The relatives go home to fuss and fight over what I left behind
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Death Mourning
Satire Society
Moral Virtue
What keywords are associated?
Dead Man Thoughts
Funeral Hypocrisy
Inheritance Disputes
Floral Tributes
Preacher Sermon
Poem Details
Title
The Thoughts Of A Dead Man
Subject
Thoughts Of A Dead Man Observing His Funeral
Form / Style
Narrative Verse In Free Form
Key Lines
Well, I Am Dead At Last
Suppose They Had Given Me The Money While I Was Living That They Are Spending For Flowers Now That I Am Dead... I Might Not Have Been Dead Today.
Oh Well, People Will Give A $10 Floral To The Dead And Won't Give You A Dime When You Need It...
I Did All I Could Now For Some Good Rest The Relatives Go Home To Fuss And Fight Over What I Left Behind