The New Hampshire Gazette And Historical Chronicle

From the Sentimental Magazine; for June 1773.

I have always had a particular aversion to any deviations from rectitude in every respect. You will, perhaps, esteem me scrupulously nice, and affectedly delicate, when I tell you that I cannot bear excess nor extravagance in behaviour, in dress, or in food; nor yet misapplication of words, vicious pronunciation, or ungrammatical language in conversation. There is one thing, which gives me a particular disgust, which I observe many persons guilty of; I mean the aspirating of all words beginning with a vowel, and rejecting the aspiration in those which begin with an h, Such pronunciation, even from the nectareous lips of the fair, is ungraceful. In hopes that some of my acquaintance, who are guilty of this injustice to poor h, may, upon a fair hearing, be reconciled to him, I have taken the liberty to notify to the world the humble petition of injured h.

The humble petition of discarded h, sheweth,

That many Ladies. Gentlemen, and likewise other Persons of different occupations, trades, characters and dispositions, to whom h used to have free access, have now either totally forsaken. or associated him with a company of strangers, with which he cuts a most ridiculous figure. A young lady, to the great mortification of h, was observing the other day, that ills made a pretty contrast with the vallies below. that the ouses were prettily interspersed among the woods, and that she was fond of earing the owls in the evenings. She admires the arbour of Portsmouth, which contain so many fhips of war. She is afraid at the prancing of an orse, and yet is constantly shooting harrows at susceptible arts. In the middle of summer she drinks hale, at her meals, and heats artichokes without receiving any harm from them. She ates ol weather, bnt likes a clear eaven. And yet, I assure you, she is a very amiable young lady. She as fine air, sweet hies, quick hears, delicate harms, and a good art.

The clerk of this parish. at the conclusion of every prayer, takes in vain the names of exalted Haman. While the clergyman cries out, "Holy, holy, holy,; Lord God of Sabaoth !" and the clerk proceeds to say, "eaven and hearth are full, &c. Hell, with these people, loses all its harshness, & becomes ell,

This reminds me of a Clergyman, who having an impediment in his speech used to add an h after an s. and used to read, "O Lord save the King :" and the Clerk out of complaisance, or through the force of example, went on, "and mercifully shear us when we call upon thee." I mention this to prove the truth of the proverb. that mocking is catching," and the ridiculousness of such pronunciation. A handsome husband, ealth and appiness ere and hereafter, was a lady's wish the other night. And, this morning, meeting a gentleman lightly dressed, she observed to him, that he was very hairy. In short poor h is so frequently abused by people of all denominations.that he is obliged. in this public manner, most humbly to beg better usage for the future. and to remind those who thus wantonly injure him, that they cannot be happy without him. He hopes that this will be taken proper notice of, which will be deemed a great favour conferred on Disconsolate H, and P. L. B.