The Virginia Gazette

Mr. Parks,

If you think the following unpolish'd Thoughts worth a Place in your Paper, your inserting them will oblige several of your Readers, as well as,

Your humble Servant,
H. C.

Since this is the Time of the Year, naturally exciting Love, and making the Society of the fair Sex more agreeable than any Time of the Year else; I mean, Love being now seasonable on the Matrimonial Terms, the most sure endearing Tenderness and Affection, and the great Point and happy Ground of earthly Felicity, the Spring of all of Property, which the Supreme Mind has instituted for these great and good Ends ; I therefore offer these following Rules, for the Advancement of Matrimonial Felicity, to the Consideration of the fair Sex.

Altho' Nature has bles'd Woman with an alluring Eye, sweet Voice, and beautiful Countenance, whereby they may win the Love of Man; yet, the most proper Method to obtain a good Husband, is, to be Good yourself.

Be sure, you never entertain a Lover long, you won't marry ; nor use him ill, whom you intend to make a Husband: let him neither upbraid nor return it: And if ever you are dispos'd to Tyranny, mind these Two Lines,

Gently shall those be rul'd, who gently sway'd;
Abject shall those obey, who haughty were obey'd.

Both before and after Matrimony, banish the least Thought of Managing your Husband; don't deceive or impose on his Understanding, nor make him uneasy, by trying his Temper ; but treat him before Marriage with Sincerity, and after with Affection and Esteem ; for such Women as act the Mistress, and lord it over their Husbands, are odious to Mankind ; and they who yield to their Subjection, no less deserve to be so. Be not too sanguine before Marriage, nor expect Felicity without Alloy ; for its impossible to be had here. Consider the Person you are to lead your Life with, is a Man, nor an Angel: And if when married, you find in his Humour and Way, something not so agreeable as you promis'd yourself, pass it over as a Humane Frailty ; compose your Temper, be cheerful and good, o you'll bid fair to amend it. Always remember, what Misfortunes soever fall out, are not imputable to Matrimony, but to the Accidents and Infirmities common to all ; a Burthen each is bound to support the other in, and whereunto both are equally liable. Don't murmur or reflect, which makes the Weight more hard to be born, but rather willingly put your Shoulder to the Yoke, and both will find it easy.: Every Morning put on a Resolution of being good-natur'd, and cheerful for the Day ; and, if any Thing happen that may break it, let it not so far prevail, as to put you out of Humour with every Thing else, and above all with your Husband : When he inclines to be merry, don't you frown ; nor be jocund, when you know him full of Business, Care, and Trouble ; for the one shews a froward Temper, and the other a Disregard of his Affection.

Never dispute with him, whatever be the Occasion, but rather than risque a Quarrel, or create a Heart-burning, ( of which it's hard to know the End ) forego the trifling Satisfaction of having your own Will, or the Better of an Argument: And if any Altercations or Jars happen, don't separate the Bed, whereby the Animosity will sooner cease.

As the Woman's Power and Happiness is founded on the Love and Esteem of her Husband, ( which without doubt it's her Interest to preserve and increase ) study his Temper, regulate your own, enjoy his Comfort with him, sooth his Cares, and by no Means disclose his Imperfections, or let the most intimate Friend know your Grievances ; otherways you expose yourself to be laugh'd at, and the Enemies of your Honour may solicit you to unlawful Pleasures. Read often the Matrimonial Service, and overlook not the Important Word O B E Y. When you pray, be sure to put up a Word for Grace, to make a good Wife, and stoutly resolve to do your best toward it.

Ever wear the Wedding-Ring, for in it is more Virtue than many apprehend: If your Temper should be suddenly ruffled, and you advis'd to decline Duty, and injure your Husband in the tenderest Part, look upon it, mind who gave it, where you receiv'd it, and what pass'd at the Solemn Occasion.

As the Moon, the farther it's from the Sun Shines the brighter, and the nearer the more obscurely; so some bad Wives deal by their Husbands, who can be hearty and gay enough in their Absence; but when they appear, become sorrowful, and are pensive; but the good Wife never visits, nor receives any that may make her Husband uneasy. Avoid Goffiping abroad ; for tho' the Society of some few may be agreeable, yet such Meetings are too often attended with ill Consequences, being not only expensive, but also destructive to the Character of Neighbours, who happen not to be of the same Class ; by which Means your Husband, as well as yourself gets Ill-will, and the Injury is some time or other retorted home upon you.

If you care for your own Ease, and Husband's Esteem, then in your Desires and Expences duly regard his Circumstances, by being modest in Apparel, not wearing every costly Trinket Custom may permit. In short, as Women are born for Virtue, that you may perform the Duty of a Wife to the Purpose, you must strive to humour the Partner of your Bosom in every Thing, and love him above the Creation; you must be patient, prudently manage your House, well skill'd in Huswifery, and careful in bringing up Children ; hospitable to Strangers, civil to Neighbours, love honest Company, and abhor the Levity of Youth. Whoever strictly adheres to these Rules, will equally promote the Honour of Marriage, and the Glory of the Fair Sex.

These Rules being, in a great Measure, suitable for Men as well as Women, both may think of them.

PHILO-GUNAICUS.