The Midland Journal

that Mr. Thomas Spriggs greeted the sunshine of a New Year's morning.

He had determined to be socially active and pleasant, but he had failed to reckon with himself. In assuming that everybody would be glad to see him he had forgotten that his previous faithfulness to calling lists had not always seemed to hit the mark. If some kind friend could have advised and convinced him about his faculty of getting into situations wrong and his ability for saying the things he did not mean to say, he might have profited by counsel, but, as the case was, his powers in these directions were unimpaired. He was still unaware of the fact that he was ironically known as Tactful Thomas.

Thus it was that the day opened characteristically as he shook hands with old man Young and, after the usual New Year wish, stepped on his favorite corn by an unfortunate comparison. Mr. Young was on the other side of seventy, but fond of imagining himself as young as ever, and a mutual acquaintance of the two was this side of that meridian, but with the looks of Methuselah. "How old do you think our friend Smithers is?" asked Young. "Well, I should say about sixty," replied Mr. Spriggs, "but he looks as old as you do!" The conversation was then abruptly ended.

Undaunted by Mr. Young's failure to appreciate his wit, Mr. Spriggs proceeded to find his next victim, wishing himself a happy New Year on his way to Miss Gladby's. On his way to Miss Gladby's he fell in with Mr. Hardy, his pastor for many years and still holding the office. Presently fell out with follows: "I see," says the other church pastor. He's been about three years in Bigville. They long in Bliss- p homestead her late, Mr. shed himself in ote social fellow- ng a young lady ty winters to one of is present. Unfortunately he forgot the name of the lady. so he escaped from his dilemma and fell into a new difficulty by saying, "Professor Fox, let me make you acquainted with-with Miss-with one of our old standbys."

After this, Spriggs, all unabated, presented himself at the Gladbys in time to say to Judge Upright, who was approaching the age limit set upon his office, "It won't be long now, judge, before you will have to go 'way back and sit down."

Perhaps the most interesting adventure of this colorful day occurred at the Robinson party. There he grew increasingly careless, until he finally took his leave with a crowning bon mot. As Mrs. Robinson kept her upstairs room during the festivities, on account of a rather severe indisposition, her daughter, Miss Allura, had done the honors, and to her he made his adieus: "Give my best regards to your mother, Miss Robinson," he said "and tell her that I hope that she will soon be down and out!"

Talking with his landlady that evening, Mr. Spriggs heard from her that there are many queer people in the world. When he replied that this would undoubtedly continue to be the case after they both had left it, the good lady overlooked the implication and wished him a happy New Year.

Nothing is more con- sciousness of the day.