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Portland, Cumberland County, Maine
What is this article about?
Satirical editorial responding to prisoner Osborn's piece, altering his list of Federalist 'grumblings' to criticize Republican policies on taxes, Louisiana Purchase, naval forces, and Tripoli War, portraying Federalists as justified in their complaints until honest leadership returns.
Merged-components note: Continuation of the 'GRUMBLING' editorial across page boundary, sequential reading order.
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Select Osborn, who consented to abandon the flowery walks of science, and to forego his delightful dalliance with the Muses, to dabble in the dirt of democracy, and wallow in the filth of a jail, thus writes, in one of his late papers:-
"if taxes are taken off, federalists grumble.
If taxes are laid on, federalists grumble.
If the administration will not expend forty millions of dollars, and sacrifice as many thousand of lives, to take New-Orleans from Spain, federalists grumble.
If the administration obtains possession of that post, and the adjacent country, for fifteen millions without bloodshed, federalists grumble.
If armed ships are rotting in the docks for want of employment, federalists grumble.
If the ships are old, federalists grumble.
If we are deficient in naval force, federalists grumble
If gun boats are built, federalists grumble.
When the lives of our countrymen were risked in the war with Tripoli, federalists grumbled.
When peace was concluded with Tripoli federalists grumbled
And grumble they will, at all events, until they get a federalist into the Chair, federalists in all the departments, in all lucrative offices—until the return of cockades, addresses, provisional armies, navies, and all the glory attending the high road to the hole of nobles!"
As Mr. Osborn must have written these paragraphs by the light admitted through the "small crevice" in his prison wall, it is not strange that they are not quite complete.
With a little alteration, they will point out exactly for what reasons
FEDERALISTS GRUMBLE.
If taxes are taken from luxuries and pleasure carriages which fall excessively on the rich—and are laid upon salt and the necessaries of life—federalists grumble.
If the administration expends seventeen millions of dollars in the purchase of a right already granted to us by treaty, under pretence of buying a territory, and thereby furnishes pretext for a war which will cost forty millions of dollars, and as many thousand of lives—and, after all, neither secures the right, nor gets possession of the territory—federalists grumble.
If armed ships are rotting in the dock while commerce is suffering for want of protection—federalists grumble:
If the ships are old for half their cost federalists grumble.
If we are deficient in naval force—federalists grumble.[This needs no alteration.
If gun-boats are built—all the world laughs and—federalists grumble.
When the lives of our countrymen were not only risked but squandered, by ear-giol on a war with a force not half competent—
federalists grumbled.
When a base and ignominious peace was
made with Tripoli, by which our honor and
Eaton's little band of heroes, were sacrificed—
federalists grumbled.
And grumble they will, until a good man
fills the chair, and honest men the depart-
ments and offices—and until we have spirit
and the name of American a sufficient title of
enough to render the American name glorious,
nobility.—Balance.
A printer says, some recent Witness
productions make it certain that Osborne still
LIES in jail.
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Editorial Details
Primary Topic
Federalist Criticisms Of Republican Administration Policies
Stance / Tone
Anti Republican Satire Defending Federalist Grumblings
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Key Arguments