Gazette Of The United States, & Philadelphia Daily Advertiser

" And the driving is like the driving of Jehu,

the son of Nimshi ; for he driveth furiously."

NOTHING is to be gained by such ex-

cessive speed. It is the mark of a giddy,

hair brained charioteer. He generally either

breaks his neck, or is distanced in the race,

by his very eagerness to reach the goal.

Lord Chesterfield took a distinction be-

tween hate and hurry, and, with the preci-

sion of a lawyer, marked their dissimilitude.

There is positively as much difference between

these pretended cousin germans, as between

my sermons, and those of the Arch Bishop

of Canterbury.

Hurry, or as it is called in the text, ' driving,

is a mischievous imp, goading us to dash our

feet against a stone, to run, with night cap

on, into the streets ; in fine, to be eager flow-

ingly and imperfect. You may dispatch bu-

siness, but if you hurry it, I will not ask for

the second sight of a Scotchman, that I may

discover your approaching bankruptcy.

Young man, I say unto thee, walk gently

to riches, to honours, to pleasure. Do not

run. Observe the impatient racer. He is

breathless ; he is fallen ; bemired, and belu-

ted : like Dr. Slop, overthrown by Obadi-

ah; he is distanced; he is hissed. Walk

circumspectly, it is Paul's advice, not like a

fool, but as wise. Compare the

man of moderation with the man of impe-

tuosity. The first becomes a Franklin, ho-

noured in king's courts. The second is ei-

ther in gaol, or in " poverty to the very lips."

In my boyhood, I remember that a parent

would sometimes repeat lessons of economy

as I sat on his knees, and then lift me in his

arms that I might look at Hogarth's plates

of Industry and Idleness. On youthful fan-

cy the picture was more impressed than the

precept. To relieve that description of my

readers, who tire at the didactic and the

trite tale of morality, I will attempt a sketch

or two; perhaps with a little colouring.

I will imagine the figure of a stripling,

educated for business. Seven years he swept

and garnished a counting house ; opened it

at five, and did not close it until nine ; corded

ropes and boxes for himself, as well as bales

for his master; read " The Sure Guide to

Love and Esteem," and worked every rule

in Hodder's Arithmetick. This, all must

allow, was a gentle pace. No freaks, no

starts discompose the placid life of a youth

in these habits. Men already look forward,

and behold him a Bank Director, or see him

in the largest store, in the mart.

One ill omen'd day, when the moon was

full, or the dog star growled, I do not re-

member which, our sober youth, whose

studies were seldom more miscellaneous, than

an invoice, or a bill of lading, unluckily

had his eye caught by a Land advertisement

in a newspaper. It will abridge a tedious

process of circumstances to imagine him in

Georgia. How many acres of land were

then bought and sold, and how he dashed

about the falls, St. Anthony, who art, more

visited, than the shrine of Thomas a Becket!

Over these lands he already drives in his cha-

riot, with somebody by his side too ; a La-

dy from Babylon. Although the carriage

is encumbered with a speculator, and --,

and imaginary bank bills in bales, yet how

we glide along, not like the son of Ahi-

maaz, bringing good tidings. The driving

is like the charioteership of the son of Nim-

shi, furious, careless, mad.

But his vehicle, like Count Basset's in

the play, rolls on the four aces, or some-

thing as unstable. He drives furiously a-

gainst a post. He is an overthrown Pha-

raoh, not as it is vulgarly expressed, in a

wreck, but in a Red Sea of troubles. He

has driven so furiously that he has snapped

his traces, lost the linch pin, and broken the

axle of his credit.

A Quack is a Jehu; he not only drives

furiously himself, but he drives his poor pa-

tients too. When I see one of these moun-

tebanks I always consider the sick he at-

tends, as so many crouching dray horses,

soon to be driven out of breath. Ye sim-

ple farmers why do you grease his wheels ?

When ye are diseased cannot a leaf of mug-

wort be obtained, without paying him for

the cropping ? When we are wounded, your

youngest children may bring you a bit of

betony, and it will not be charged.

Of the genius of drivers, the Negro dri-

ver, and the impetuous Frenchmen are a

noted species. But it does not demand the

perspicacity of a watchman to discover their

course. They go on at a fearful rate ; and

it may demand a thunderbolt to arrest either

in the impious career.