The Independent

THE GAME OF CONSEQUENCES.

The Military arm of the Government met the Executive branches of the Government at the Executive building.

He (Col. Fisher) said, "We are here by appointment to meet the President and the Cabinet."

She (Georgiana Potter) said, "Come again on Monday—the President is having his whiskers combed and cannot see you to-day. Ta ta!"

The community said, "It was a direct snub to the military and that h—l would be popping soon."

The Independent said that "explanations" would be in order and the usual love feast ensue.

The Consequence was a bad case of Hoof and Mouth disease.

WARP AINT WASHED.

President Dole came to town yesterday. His whiskers had been dried and he was ready to meet the "warriors" who were on the warpath, and had applied the war paint to their handsome bodies.

Minister Cooper did not appear, however, nor did any of his colleagues. All the "boys" saw was Dole, pure and simple.

There has lately been an intense feeling of dissatisfaction among our good soldiers. It has been openly claimed that the Government has no further use for the volunteer forces and on all and every occasion the volunteer "boys" have been snubbed by the Minister Pooh Bah and his subordinates.

The climax came last Friday. The Colonel, commanding the N. G. H., went forth with his gallant officers to meet the Minister of War upon an appointment. Arriving at the palace at the right moment the Colonel and the officers were told to "git" as the "meeting" had been postponed until Monday, the 5th inst. The officers remonstrated and told the "majah" conveying the message to them, to "go and see his boss and let the boss confer with the representatives personally, and not through the agency of a flunky."

The boss, however, was busy talking to W. N. Armstrong and declined to see the military men. A message to that effect was forwarded through the aide de camp of the President and the "Braves" left in a very bad temper.

On Sunday a meeting was held and considerable time was devoted to putting on warpaint, and it was decided to go, tomahawk in hand, on Monday to interview the President, Minister, and Major, and they went there. Each had a prepared speech on tap through which the indignation of the members of the militia would be explained. Each one was after the pate of Minister-of-War Cooper, and each one had a few interesting developments to present.

But Cooper and the other members of the Cabinet did not come near our ferocious "braves." Major Potter simply received them, made a graceful motion with his tennis racket (beg pardon—sword) and ushered them into the presence of President Dole.

The "braves" stood for a moment stunned. They saw only the great man with the whiskers and "nary" a sign of Cooper and the other Ministers they were hunting for. However, they started into business and Dole got all the benefit of their pent-up wrath. He fully agreed with his "braves" and he told them that the militia would be his special "pet" in the future, even if Cooper doesn't want them. The President was surprised to learn that there are officials under the "best" government who actually tax an employee for receiving a job. He said he was glad to hear such a statement, and he would immediately urge his Ministers to go after such bad men and fire them out. He hoped that the meeting was a perfect love feast. He loved the militia even if Cooper didn't, and he wanted the boys to stay right there—and then let him know what in the name of Peter Simple they really do want.

The "boys" explained it to him during the next two hours, and then His Excellency knew as much as at the opening of the meeting. The doors were opened and Major Potter assisted the "braves" down the stairs.

All went to the headquarters where the warpaint was washed off, and then the Colonel treated the "boys" to sodawater at George W. Smith's shop.

"Dickey Bird" stayed behind and heard the following remarks:

Dole to Cooper: What in the name of Corbett do those boys want?

Cooper to Dole: Bless them; they don't know themselves. Let us disband the volunteers and pay more money to the regulars.

And the militia of Hawaii will be disbanded. Hurrah for Cooper!