The Elk County Advocate

Wanted.

At the Democratic headquarters in Baltimore on the 9th of July, 1872, a suitable person to nominate as a candidate for President of the United States. A certain Fourierite Philosopher, Horace Greeley by name, has been proposed, but upon careful inquiry as to his antecedents it is found that he is too uncertain for our purpose. It is true this Philosopher is now a Democrat, and swears he always was, and that the man who says he was not is a "liar, a thief and a villain." and if that man don't mind his P's and Q's he will be under the necessity of sending him further South than South itself, where the climate is much warmer even if there is more of the sulphurous in its atmosphere.

A very fine trait of character in Philosopher Greeley is, that he is a most excellent specimen of the political chameleon, and is never seen twice under the same colors, as for example in 1860 he claimed to be the delegate from Oregon and gave his vote so as to secure the nomination of Mr. Lincoln, thereby defeating Mr. Seward for all time, so far as the Presidency was concerned. But in three years the chameleon had changed colors and the immortal Lincoln no longer suited the chief Philosopher of the new school. Lincoln must be cast aside and Gen. John C. Fremont was just the man for the place and times. This was owing to the fact that in 1856 the Philosopher had written a life of his pet General then Col. Fremont and had made the world astounding discovery that his hero of Mariposa renown had been born twice, once in the swamps of Georgia, and once in North Carolina; during the same campaign, however, he wheeled into line and lukewarmly supported the re-election of Mr. Lincoln.

In 1868 he was hi! ho! for General Grant-General Grant "never had been defeated and never would be." so said the Philosopher; Gen. Grant was just the man for the post, his great military ability was only stronger proof of his capacity as a Statesman, and this Fourierite when elected chairman of the New York State Republican Committee re-nominated Gen. Grant for a second term. In 1872 the chameleon changes, and Gen. Grant is the worst of all the bad beings in the Universe, even worse than the head and ruler of that continuously warm region, in the existence of said warmer region the Philosopher it is said professes to have no faith, a faith decidedly in better keeping with his eminently exemplary life.

Hence upon the whole we fear that the Philosopher might not be our hand in cases of emergency and when we should come to look for our President he might not be there, and the nation be without a President at all, and the office occupied by a vain, credulous and easily flattered old man, who would be a statesman if he only could.

Two members of the Greeley State Committee of New York, Messrs. Allaire and Draper, have withdrawn from the bad company in which they found themselves. Mr. Allaire writes that no genuine Republican can subscribe to the action of the Cincinnati convention, and that Horace has alienated his old friends, and gone over to the Democracy. "The leaders of the Democratic party," says Mr. Allaire, "know that by the election of Mr. Greeley they would virtually have the government in their own hands, and that could entirely mould and subdue him to their will." This hits the nail squarely.