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Literary
June 1, 1906
The Camden Chronicle
Camden, Benton County, Tennessee
What is this article about?
Miss Harding receives a supposed imperial Chinese dragon vase from her uncle. Collector Mr. Green deems it fake due to five toes instead of four, leading her to discard it in frustration. Later, Green apologizes, admitting imperial dragons have five toes, but she has lost interest in collecting.
Clipping
OCR Quality
100%
Excellent
Full Text
AN IMPERIAL DRAGON
GETTING A CONNOISSEUR'S
VERDICT.
BY I. K. FRIEDMAN.
When Miss Harding's uncle returned from China he presented his niece, who was an enthusiastic collector of curios, with any number of cups and saucers, a variety of ivories, some rare and artistic samples of lacquer work and one imperial Chinese dragon.
"Ellen," he had said on taking the dragon from the box, "I need not tell you what a rare thing an imperial Chinese dragon is. They are made, you know, in the imperial potteries and it is only once in a century that one manages to crawl out of the royal family and find its way in the outside world. Dragons are common enough in China; they curl around everything there, but imperial dragons, my dear, are very discriminating in the subjects that they condescend to strangle."
Miss Harding thanked her uncle warmly. She gave the great vase with the imperial beast curled so fantastically about it a place of honor in her parlor. Then she sat down to advise her friend, Mr. Green, another enthusiastic collector of curios, of her prize.
"I really hope you have an imperial dragon," said Mr. Green when he called the next afternoon.
"O, I have," she answered. "There's no doubt about that!"
Mr. Green smiled skeptically.
"You are smiling," she remarked, slightly piqued, "even before you have seen the dragon. Is there anything humorous about the idea of an imperial dragon?"
"That depends upon the imperial dragon," he retorted. "A friend of mine had an imperial dragon once—that is, he thought it was an imperial dragon until we began to count its toes. There was one toe too many and that settled the nobility of Mr. Dragon. It takes only four toes to make up the foot of an imperial dragon, while five toes make up the foot of the ordinary run of dragons. A dragon of royal lineage gets along very nicely on four toes; presumably it rides more and walks less than its common brethren."
There was no question about it; Green was up in dragons as well as in everything else. Miss Harding's heart sunk as she crossed the room to count the toes of the royal beast's foot.
"I am very sorry," sighed Green, "but it would have been so much better if your uncle had secured a four-toed dragon; it would have put your dragon on a footing with the nobility. Made it toe the mark, so to speak."
Her mood did not lend itself to the enjoyment of his poor pun. She tried to argue the question, insisting that her uncle's long residence in China would have saved him from having committed such a stupid error.
"It ought to have done so, but it didn't," declared Green, smiling but firm. "An extra toe is an awkward thing—in an imperial dragon!"
In the end the skeptical Green had his way and the dragon went to what Miss Harding called "Green's landing," which is the place where he had sent a host of other curios that he had proved base impositions.
Whenever she looked toward "Green's landing" she could see the odious dragon leering at her and drawing itself back as if preparing to spring at her throat, coil around her body and choke her to death with its horrible claws. Meet death for having displaced it from the throne of royalty!
The thing began actually to prey upon her mind, and she turned its face to the wall. Still the uncanny beast haunted her and she ordered the maid to remove it to the garret. Even then the fact that the dragon still existed tormented her and she was fearful lest it crawl down the stairs and throttle her in her sleep. If she had had the courage of St. George she would have gone upstairs and have slain the dragon beyond any hope of resurrection.
But what courage would not do for Miss Harding carelessness did for her maid.
"Oh, Miss Ellen," she faltered one day, coming to her mistress in tears, "I-I broke the Chinese dragon."
"Don't bother," returned Miss Harding, half-ashamed to admit that she considered its destruction fortunate. "Don't bother. I can easily get an-
Not a week after the accident Miss Harding met Green between the acts of the opera. She had lost all interest in curios. She had not even dreamed of purchasing anything to add to her collection since the last encounter, and she had therefore no fear of meeting her skeptical friend. But for once he appeared constrained and embarrassed, as if anxious to avoid her.
"I have an apology to offer you, Miss Harding," he began, slowly and seriously.
"An apology from you, Mr. Green," she answered, "would please me more than a gift from anybody else—even a gift of a Chinese dragon!"
"Even a genuine imperial Chinese dragon?" He bowed stiffly.
"Not quite that much, but more than a spurious Chinese dragon."
"But your dragon is genuine. I've just found out that I was wrong. The imperial Chinese dragon has five toes. It's too bad, but it's so."
"Never mind, Mr. Green," she answered, "It doesn't matter now!"
Chicago Daily News.
GETTING A CONNOISSEUR'S
VERDICT.
BY I. K. FRIEDMAN.
When Miss Harding's uncle returned from China he presented his niece, who was an enthusiastic collector of curios, with any number of cups and saucers, a variety of ivories, some rare and artistic samples of lacquer work and one imperial Chinese dragon.
"Ellen," he had said on taking the dragon from the box, "I need not tell you what a rare thing an imperial Chinese dragon is. They are made, you know, in the imperial potteries and it is only once in a century that one manages to crawl out of the royal family and find its way in the outside world. Dragons are common enough in China; they curl around everything there, but imperial dragons, my dear, are very discriminating in the subjects that they condescend to strangle."
Miss Harding thanked her uncle warmly. She gave the great vase with the imperial beast curled so fantastically about it a place of honor in her parlor. Then she sat down to advise her friend, Mr. Green, another enthusiastic collector of curios, of her prize.
"I really hope you have an imperial dragon," said Mr. Green when he called the next afternoon.
"O, I have," she answered. "There's no doubt about that!"
Mr. Green smiled skeptically.
"You are smiling," she remarked, slightly piqued, "even before you have seen the dragon. Is there anything humorous about the idea of an imperial dragon?"
"That depends upon the imperial dragon," he retorted. "A friend of mine had an imperial dragon once—that is, he thought it was an imperial dragon until we began to count its toes. There was one toe too many and that settled the nobility of Mr. Dragon. It takes only four toes to make up the foot of an imperial dragon, while five toes make up the foot of the ordinary run of dragons. A dragon of royal lineage gets along very nicely on four toes; presumably it rides more and walks less than its common brethren."
There was no question about it; Green was up in dragons as well as in everything else. Miss Harding's heart sunk as she crossed the room to count the toes of the royal beast's foot.
"I am very sorry," sighed Green, "but it would have been so much better if your uncle had secured a four-toed dragon; it would have put your dragon on a footing with the nobility. Made it toe the mark, so to speak."
Her mood did not lend itself to the enjoyment of his poor pun. She tried to argue the question, insisting that her uncle's long residence in China would have saved him from having committed such a stupid error.
"It ought to have done so, but it didn't," declared Green, smiling but firm. "An extra toe is an awkward thing—in an imperial dragon!"
In the end the skeptical Green had his way and the dragon went to what Miss Harding called "Green's landing," which is the place where he had sent a host of other curios that he had proved base impositions.
Whenever she looked toward "Green's landing" she could see the odious dragon leering at her and drawing itself back as if preparing to spring at her throat, coil around her body and choke her to death with its horrible claws. Meet death for having displaced it from the throne of royalty!
The thing began actually to prey upon her mind, and she turned its face to the wall. Still the uncanny beast haunted her and she ordered the maid to remove it to the garret. Even then the fact that the dragon still existed tormented her and she was fearful lest it crawl down the stairs and throttle her in her sleep. If she had had the courage of St. George she would have gone upstairs and have slain the dragon beyond any hope of resurrection.
But what courage would not do for Miss Harding carelessness did for her maid.
"Oh, Miss Ellen," she faltered one day, coming to her mistress in tears, "I-I broke the Chinese dragon."
"Don't bother," returned Miss Harding, half-ashamed to admit that she considered its destruction fortunate. "Don't bother. I can easily get an-
Not a week after the accident Miss Harding met Green between the acts of the opera. She had lost all interest in curios. She had not even dreamed of purchasing anything to add to her collection since the last encounter, and she had therefore no fear of meeting her skeptical friend. But for once he appeared constrained and embarrassed, as if anxious to avoid her.
"I have an apology to offer you, Miss Harding," he began, slowly and seriously.
"An apology from you, Mr. Green," she answered, "would please me more than a gift from anybody else—even a gift of a Chinese dragon!"
"Even a genuine imperial Chinese dragon?" He bowed stiffly.
"Not quite that much, but more than a spurious Chinese dragon."
"But your dragon is genuine. I've just found out that I was wrong. The imperial Chinese dragon has five toes. It's too bad, but it's so."
"Never mind, Mr. Green," she answered, "It doesn't matter now!"
Chicago Daily News.
What sub-type of article is it?
Prose Fiction
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Social Manners
Commerce Trade
What keywords are associated?
Imperial Dragon
Chinese Curios
Collecting
Authentication
Mistake
Toes
Satire
What entities or persons were involved?
By I. K. Friedman.
Literary Details
Title
An Imperial Dragon Getting A Connoisseur's Verdict.
Author
By I. K. Friedman.
Key Lines
"I Need Not Tell You What A Rare Thing An Imperial Chinese Dragon Is. They Are Made, You Know, In The Imperial Potteries And It Is Only Once In A Century That One Manages To Crawl Out Of The Royal Family And Find Its Way In The Outside World."
"It Takes Only Four Toes To Make Up The Foot Of An Imperial Dragon, While Five Toes Make Up The Foot Of The Ordinary Run Of Dragons."
"An Extra Toe Is An Awkward Thing—In An Imperial Dragon!"
"The Imperial Chinese Dragon Has Five Toes. It's Too Bad, But It's So."
"Never Mind, Mr. Green," She Answered, "It Doesn't Matter Now!"