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Literary
December 30, 1869
Public Ledger
Memphis, Shelby County, Tennessee
What is this article about?
Humorous New Year's Day 1870 advice column from the Theatrical Bulletin, offering witty counsel to young men on avoiding excess during calls and to young ladies on charm and marriage, signed by N.B. Smith, amid financial woes.
OCR Quality
85%
Good
Full Text
[From the Theatrical Bulletin.]
The first day of the year 1870 is at hand, according to Joshua Billings' Almanac. Gentle reader, pause and observe this fact. On such an occasion it is fit and proper to make a few remarks, especially to the young, who have not seen as many New Years in the past as they may in the future. Young people are so seldom counseled that a few words of advice to-day will no doubt be accepted as a novelty. Young men, keep away from Whisky Chute; don't stop nearer than the corner, and you may be happy. Do not make more than a thousand New Year's calls. Be sure to say the same nice things at each house to each particular girl of the period, and don't put a period to the happiness of any cheerful household by staying too long. Taste all the wines and liquors you can get under your mustache, and don't mistake a window for the door when you undertake to take your leave. Go it while you are young and handsome, for when you get to be seventy-five or eighty years old you will measurably have lost a relish for such enjoyments-except the wines and liquors. A man often improves on that. Jo. Jefferson is a good actor and makes money, but his "Rip" is not a good model for imitation when you are making your New Year's calls. Don't try it too far, lest you get invited out like "Rip" did, and find yourself unable to carry the keg of lager beer up the Catskill stairway that leads to your room. Young ladies, we hope, if agreeable, that you will all be married before another year rolls its circular saws around again. Be pretty and you will be happy; or be happy and you will be pretty. Any impromptu remarks about the weather, and the Joe Jefferson, and the scarcity of matrimony this season, and the like, should be recited with an occasional sweet little stammer, just to let young men with red kids, rubbed too often on their noses, know that the same remarks have not been repeated to any one previously. This is the day we celebrate, but don't celebrate it too much, for Sunday is coming, and a headache at church is not comfortable. The author of these fugitive thoughts and fancies would take unmixed pleasure in calling on each of his readers in Memphis on New Year's, or at least in shaking hands with the crowd that will come out from the matinee at the theater, but owing to an engagement to meet his exorbitant creditors, who have compromised at last and agreed to take one cent on the dollar, he will have to defer that pleasure to some more opportune day. Hoping these few crumbs may cheer the insolvent and strengthen the chicken-hearted sons and daughters of misfortune, the author casts them forth on the waters of Time. He expects his reward-perchance to be interviewed by reporters, fed at public expense, furnished good clothes and lionized generally. Such is the ambition of one who desires to elevate his race, and would like for them to return the compliment as early as convenient.
N. B. SMITH.
Look out for cheap goods this week, at Walker Bros. & Co., 229 Main street. 103
We often hear people asking where all the good meat goes to, and as we have inspected we can answer: At the Charleston Market, 224 Madison street, for J. R. Williams has always on hand as good a quality as we see in this country. 105
Handsome Chromos, in black walnut and gilt frames, at the Revolution Dollar Store, 213 Main street. 102.
Linen towels, $1 50 per dozen, at Kraus', 218 Main. 79t
How are you "off for soap?" Fifty per cent. better value at the Revolution Dollar Store, 213 Main Street. 98t
If you want bargains in millinery and dress-making, call on M. A. Roberts & Co., 322½ Main street. 122
Use the celebrated Home Washer and Clothes Wringer, 276 Second street. 105
Gents' linen handkerchiefs, $4 50 per dozen, worth $6, at Kraus', 218 Main. 79t
Select a box of handkerchiefs, half-hose, F. Y. shirts, or any style of furnishing goods, for holiday gifts, at Wiggans & Thorne's, 233, Clay Building. 82 t
COTTON FACTORS.
W. S. TAYLOR....W.L. RADFORD....W.E. M'GUIRE.
TAYLOR, RADFORD & CO.,
COTTON
FACTORS,
-AND-
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
15
Monroe Street, bet. Main and Front,
MEMPHIS, TENN.
Bagging, Rope, Ties and Supplies furnished on reasonable terms.
Special attention given to filling cash orders.
All consignments insured, unless otherwise instructed. 29-105
a3f
OAF SOOOH
4, x. Borp.
7, x, whtL.
J. x. nayr
BOYD, WHITE & DAVES,
Cotton Factors
, :,:. —iD— i .:
COMMISSION MERCHANTS.
No. 205 Front Street, Memphis, Tenn
All consignments covered by Open Policy. and in store covered by
Insurance, unless
otherwise instructed. 90-115
OWEN, McNUTT & CO.,
Cotton and Tobacco Factors
RECEIVING,FORWARDING,
AND
Gen'l Commission Merchants,
LEEBLOCK,
Union Street,
Memphis, Tennessee.
ALL COTTON, TOBACCO OR OTHER
A
produce consigned to us insured, unless
otherwise instructed. Bagging, Rope and
other supplies furnished at the lowest market
prices. 151-9-148
The first day of the year 1870 is at hand, according to Joshua Billings' Almanac. Gentle reader, pause and observe this fact. On such an occasion it is fit and proper to make a few remarks, especially to the young, who have not seen as many New Years in the past as they may in the future. Young people are so seldom counseled that a few words of advice to-day will no doubt be accepted as a novelty. Young men, keep away from Whisky Chute; don't stop nearer than the corner, and you may be happy. Do not make more than a thousand New Year's calls. Be sure to say the same nice things at each house to each particular girl of the period, and don't put a period to the happiness of any cheerful household by staying too long. Taste all the wines and liquors you can get under your mustache, and don't mistake a window for the door when you undertake to take your leave. Go it while you are young and handsome, for when you get to be seventy-five or eighty years old you will measurably have lost a relish for such enjoyments-except the wines and liquors. A man often improves on that. Jo. Jefferson is a good actor and makes money, but his "Rip" is not a good model for imitation when you are making your New Year's calls. Don't try it too far, lest you get invited out like "Rip" did, and find yourself unable to carry the keg of lager beer up the Catskill stairway that leads to your room. Young ladies, we hope, if agreeable, that you will all be married before another year rolls its circular saws around again. Be pretty and you will be happy; or be happy and you will be pretty. Any impromptu remarks about the weather, and the Joe Jefferson, and the scarcity of matrimony this season, and the like, should be recited with an occasional sweet little stammer, just to let young men with red kids, rubbed too often on their noses, know that the same remarks have not been repeated to any one previously. This is the day we celebrate, but don't celebrate it too much, for Sunday is coming, and a headache at church is not comfortable. The author of these fugitive thoughts and fancies would take unmixed pleasure in calling on each of his readers in Memphis on New Year's, or at least in shaking hands with the crowd that will come out from the matinee at the theater, but owing to an engagement to meet his exorbitant creditors, who have compromised at last and agreed to take one cent on the dollar, he will have to defer that pleasure to some more opportune day. Hoping these few crumbs may cheer the insolvent and strengthen the chicken-hearted sons and daughters of misfortune, the author casts them forth on the waters of Time. He expects his reward-perchance to be interviewed by reporters, fed at public expense, furnished good clothes and lionized generally. Such is the ambition of one who desires to elevate his race, and would like for them to return the compliment as early as convenient.
N. B. SMITH.
Look out for cheap goods this week, at Walker Bros. & Co., 229 Main street. 103
We often hear people asking where all the good meat goes to, and as we have inspected we can answer: At the Charleston Market, 224 Madison street, for J. R. Williams has always on hand as good a quality as we see in this country. 105
Handsome Chromos, in black walnut and gilt frames, at the Revolution Dollar Store, 213 Main street. 102.
Linen towels, $1 50 per dozen, at Kraus', 218 Main. 79t
How are you "off for soap?" Fifty per cent. better value at the Revolution Dollar Store, 213 Main Street. 98t
If you want bargains in millinery and dress-making, call on M. A. Roberts & Co., 322½ Main street. 122
Use the celebrated Home Washer and Clothes Wringer, 276 Second street. 105
Gents' linen handkerchiefs, $4 50 per dozen, worth $6, at Kraus', 218 Main. 79t
Select a box of handkerchiefs, half-hose, F. Y. shirts, or any style of furnishing goods, for holiday gifts, at Wiggans & Thorne's, 233, Clay Building. 82 t
COTTON FACTORS.
W. S. TAYLOR....W.L. RADFORD....W.E. M'GUIRE.
TAYLOR, RADFORD & CO.,
COTTON
FACTORS,
-AND-
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
15
Monroe Street, bet. Main and Front,
MEMPHIS, TENN.
Bagging, Rope, Ties and Supplies furnished on reasonable terms.
Special attention given to filling cash orders.
All consignments insured, unless otherwise instructed. 29-105
a3f
OAF SOOOH
4, x. Borp.
7, x, whtL.
J. x. nayr
BOYD, WHITE & DAVES,
Cotton Factors
, :,:. —iD— i .:
COMMISSION MERCHANTS.
No. 205 Front Street, Memphis, Tenn
All consignments covered by Open Policy. and in store covered by
Insurance, unless
otherwise instructed. 90-115
OWEN, McNUTT & CO.,
Cotton and Tobacco Factors
RECEIVING,FORWARDING,
AND
Gen'l Commission Merchants,
LEEBLOCK,
Union Street,
Memphis, Tennessee.
ALL COTTON, TOBACCO OR OTHER
A
produce consigned to us insured, unless
otherwise instructed. Bagging, Rope and
other supplies furnished at the lowest market
prices. 151-9-148
What sub-type of article is it?
Essay
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Social Manners
Moral Virtue
What keywords are associated?
New Years Advice
Young Men
Young Ladies
Social Calls
Memphis
Theatrical Bulletin
What entities or persons were involved?
N. B. Smith
Literary Details
Author
N. B. Smith
Subject
New Year's Advice To The Young
Form / Style
Humorous Prose Column
Key Lines
Young Men, Keep Away From Whisky Chute; Don't Stop Nearer Than The Corner, And You May Be Happy.
Be Pretty And You Will Be Happy; Or Be Happy And You Will Be Pretty.
Hoping These Few Crumbs May Cheer The Insolvent And Strengthen The Chicken Hearted Sons And Daughters Of Misfortune, The Author Casts Them Forth On The Waters Of Time.