The Lancaster Gazette

For thus eccentricity,
One sees a good many e's;
Also, in 'bubbubbubberous,
The B's are thick as bees.
There are no i's in English eyes,
But e's there are in case;
A wants you oft to make it aye:
There's but one p in peace.
Some Judges judge the English tongue,
But kill it with a breath:
With wind and words they sentence some
Fine sentences to death
A sea-horse is a sea-horse when
You see him in the sea;
But when you see him in a bay,
A bay horse then is he.
Of course a race course isn't course,
A fine is far from fine;
It is a sad'ning sight to see
A noble pine tree pine.
If miners are all minors, then
Their guardians get their gains,
All glaziers extra pains should take
To put in extra panes.
A kitchen maid is often made
To burn her face and broil it:
Some Ladies know no labor, but
To toil it at their toilet.
If one were riding o'er a lot
He might his lot bewail.
But 'twould be of no use to him
To rail against a rail.
It's pun-ishment for me to pun;
Its trifling, void of worth,
So let it pass unnoticed like
The dew that's due the earth.