New Hampshire Journal Of Agriculture

Inclined to be Quarrelsome.

There was once a little, slim-built fellow, rich as a Jew, independent and saucy riding along a highway in the State of Georgia, when he overtook a man driving a drove of hogs by the help of a big, raw boned, six-foot-two specimen of humanity. Stopping the last named individual, he accosted him:

'I say, are these your hogs?'

'No, sir? I'm to work by the month.'

'What pay might you be getting, friend?'

'Ten dollars a month and whiskey thrown in,' was the reply.

'Well, look here, I'm a weak, little, inoffensive man, and people are apt to impose me, d'ye see. Now, I'll give you twenty-five dollars a month to ride along with me and protect me,' said Mr. Gardner. But, he added, as the thought struck him, 'how might you be on the fight?'

'Never been licked in my life,' rejoined the six-footer.

'Just the man I want. Is't a bargain?' queried Gardner.

Six-footer ruminated. 'Twenty-five dollars-double wages-nothing to do but to ride around and smash a fellow's mug occasionally when he's sassy.'

Six-footer accepted

They rode along till, just at night, they reached a village inn. Dismounting at the door, they went in. Gardner immediately singled out the biggest man in the room, and picked a fuss with him. After considerable promiscuous jawing, Gardner turned to his fighting friend, and intimated that the licking of that man had become a sad necessity. Six-footer peeled, went in, and came out first best

The next night, at another hotel, the same scene was re-enacted-Gardner getting into a row with the biggest man in the place, and six-footer doing the fighting.

At last, on the third day, they came to a ferry kept by a huge, double-fisted man, who had never been licked in his life. Whilst crossing the river, Gardner as usual began to find fault and blow. The ferryman naturally got mad, threw things around, and gave his opinion of their kind. Gardner then turned to his friend and gently broke the intelligence to him, 'that he was sorry, but that it was absolutely necessary to thrash that ferryman.'

Six-footer nodded his head, but said nothing. It was plainly to be seen that he did not relish the job, by the way he shrugged his shoulders, but there was no help for it. So when they reached the shore, both stripped, and at it they went. Up and down the bank, over the sand, into the water they fought, scratched, gouged, bit, and rolled, till, at the end of an hour, the ferryman gave in. Six-footer was triumphant, but it had been tough work.

Going up to his employer he scratched his head for a moment, and then broke forth:

'Look here, Mr. Gardner, your salary sets mighty well, but--I'm--of-the-opinion-that you are inclined to be quarrelsome. Here I've been with you only three days, and I've licked the three biggest men in the country! I think this firm had better dissolve, for you see, Mr. Gardner, I'm afraid you're inclined to be quarrelsome, and I reckon I'll draw!'

Tahama Gazette.