The Saline County Journal

The Prominent Citizen.

A Queer Character That Flourishes Wherever Men Do Congregate.

It is the ambition of some men to figure in the role of prominent citizen. They have an insatiable craving to see their names in print. They attend all meetings in which "our more prominent citizens" take part, and nothing pleases them more than to have their names appear in the morning papers in the long list of vice presidents.

The prominent citizen signs requests to a theatrical manager or star to accept a complimentary benefit, after scrutinizing the list of names to make sure that there is a preponderance of prominent citizens like himself, though it has been remarked that he rarely buys a ticket.

It is for the accommodation of the prominent citizen that chairs are placed on the stage on public occasions, and we have seen him swell up with the consciousness of his own importance as he marches proudly to his seat, looking as though the whole affair was arranged with the sole view to lifting him up for the admiration of the multitude of ordinary citizens seated below, who had no prominence to speak of.

So long as he maintains a dignified composure and discreetly holds his tongue, he is safe, but sometimes the prominent citizen - the kind we are writing about, of course - is betrayed into the weakness of making a speech, and the shallowness of his claim to any consideration above his fellows becomes painfully evident, leading simple people to inquire how he got to be a prominent citizen, anyhow. It is embarrassing to have a question of that sort put in motion, and no prominent citizen who feels at all insecure in his position should ever do anything to arouse it.

There is rarely a procession without a carriage at the disposal of the prominent citizen. It would be extremely undignified for him to walk like common mortals; besides that, in a crowd he might be mistaken for one of the most insignificant in the procession, and no suspicion of his greatness. Seated in an open hack, with a flaming badge pinned on his coat, strangers on the sidewalk might be led to inquire: "Who is that man?" and he is in hard luck if there isn't some one at hand to reply: "That is Colonel Blank, one of our most prominent citizens."

No one enjoys being interviewed by the newspaper reporter like the prominent citizen we are describing. He is ready to give his opinion on any and all subjects, from a fracture in the sidewalk to a break in the Cabinet. If a series of interviews should appear in the newspaper headed, "What our prominent citizens think of it," without his name appearing it would make him sick, and he would probably call upon the editor demanding an explanation. Instances have been known of his writing out an interview with himself, unasked, and putting it in the reporter's hands.

It is on an excursion to some other city that the prominent citizen shines in his greatest glory. To have his coming announced in the papers; to be received at the depot by a delegation of prominent citizens, some of them as transparent humbugs as himself; to listen to speeches of welcome, and make a speech himself, if some friend is kind enough to write it for him; to be feasted and toasted to free drinks, and taken around in a hack to see the prisons, poor-houses, public libraries and breweries, with a lunch and speeches at each stopping-place; to be stared at by barefoot boys; to have the band play "See the Conquering Hero Comes;" to be introduced to people as the man "who has given so much prominence to his city," the introducer not embarrassing himself or others by entering into any details - all these are what give the prominent citizen such exquisite joy. Then it is that he is in his perfect element. - Texas Siftings.