The Cincinnati Daily Star

A BIRD THAT CAUSED A DIVORCE.

Vampires or huge bats, which are reputed to extract the blood from human beings while sleeping, and eagles which fly off to their nests with babies to supply the eaglets with their suppers, are regarded as dangerous birds, but a parrot—why, a parrot will, at times, as I shall relate, wreck the peace of a household and almost drive its victims to suicide. Now, there used to be one kept on Baltimore street, in Baltimore in 1872, which led to a divorce between as happy a couple as the Monumental City could boast. Mr. and Mrs. Wood were parrotized. They owned a most wonderful bird—a large gray African—which, for profanity, intelligence and mischief was unequaled. The first named habit, to be sure, was partially cured, though not unfrequently at the morning meal the family would be saluted with: 'D—n you, I want my breakfast,' but the mischief, backed by the intelligence, was what brought woe to Mr. and Mrs. Wood.

The wife was exceedingly handsome, and had many beaux previous to marriage; she was still, though it must be confessed, given to flirting. Alas! that such can truly be said of many of our married ladies. Yet the tongue of slander had not touched her—the human tongue, I mean.

Now, occasionally visiting Mrs. Wood you would find there Gus Learning. The Learning family and that of Mrs. Wood's father had ever been the closest friends, and Gus thought nothing of stepping into Mr. Wood's to hold conversation with the wife while the husband was at his business place.

Against Gus Learning this African fiend conceived an intense hatred. The cause of his animosity, I fancy, grew out of the fact that Gus on one occasion put his fingers through the bars of the cage, when the bird fastened on to one of them, and Gus was compelled to rap it on the head ere it would loosen its hold. How it cursed him when he came into the room where it hung in its cage. The Woods often thought of parting with this creature, but then he was 'too smart and cunning for the world.' Better a thousand times had they sold or given him away, for ere long he raised a domestic storm which wrecked two lives.

One day as Mr. Wood entered the sitting-room on his return from his store—his wife and Gus being there, while the parrot was in his cage against the wall—the bird cried out, sharply:

'That man kissed your wife! That man kissed your wife!'

The husband glanced at the pair, and, of course, they looked confused and excited. The bird again reiterated:

'That man kissed your wife! That man kissed your wife!'

Was there ever a man feeling so aggrieved as Gus, so furious as Wood, so wretched a woman as Carrie, the wife? The husband did not doubt the truthfulness of the bird, for jealousy believes ever on the slightest evidence. But at last the husband was appeased, or at least seemed to be.

Gus continued his visits. In less than a week, however, Mr. Wood, on coming into the sitting-room, where were his wife and Gus, found that Toby, the parrot, had been removed.

'Where's Toby?' he inquired.

'In the hall. I thought it a more suitable place,' replied his wife.

'I prefer he should be in this room,' answered the husband.

'Why?'

'I have my reasons,' coldly said Mr. Wood.

'Mr. Wood, I think I understand you; but we will not talk on this matter further now.'

Gus rose quickly, anticipating a scene, and bowing to the lady and gentleman, passed into the hall. Mr. Wood soon followed him, to go up the stairway, when Toby cried out, with a shriek:

'That man kissed your wife—that man kissed your wife!'

In a day or two a quarrel followed about Toby. Mrs. Wood determined to be rid of him—her husband was equally decided on retaining him. At last, one morning, poor Toby was found dead in his cage. Wood really loved and believed in this strange being, and upon investigation discovered that he had been poisoned. On questioning a simple negro girl on the subject, she admitted the poisoning at the instigation of the mistress. The married pair never lived together again, and in less than a year a divorce was granted, for uncongeniality and abandonment, whereas the true cause was Toby.