Literary Cadet, And Saturday Evening Bulletin

FLATTERY

Not long since, in a large party where several of the young ladies were displaying their musical talents, by the performance of various duets, rondos, marches, &c. on the piano, I was requested to play. Just then I was engaged in an agreeable conversation with a friend, whom I had not seen for a long time and I did not feel at all in a musical mood; besides, the tune I was desired to play, was by no means a favourite; in short, every thing concurred to make me play most miserably. It would have fretted Mozart or Handel into a frenzy to have heard me. It is unnecessary to say I was extremely mortified, but my surprise much exceeded my mortification upon hearing the extravagant encomiums bestowed by the gentleman at whose desire I played. He was almost a stranger to me, but I immediately drew the conclusion, that he was either a fool or thought me one, and as I had no reason from the former part of his behavior to suppose him void of sense, I was not at all pleased with his affected admiration of my performance, and therefore said in not a very pleasant tone, "you certainly cannot think as you say;" but he still persisted in his commendations, apparently with so much sincerity, that, though he could not flatter me into the belief that I played the tune accurately, I confess I was so credulous as to believe he thought so. However, I was not long deceived, for a few moments after, as I was standing behind him so as not to be visible to him, I heard him say to a gentleman near, "How she murdered that tune! it really made my ears ache." "What made you praise it so much then?" inquired a very interesting little boy who was sitting on his knee.

"You must always flatter ladies you know," was his reply. "No, I don't know any such thing, and I will ask pa about it," said he, and away he was going to ask his father. It was not without great difficulty that he was prevented by the gentleman, who appeared much terrified to think that his practice of always flattering ladies was going to be exposed. I was so wicked as to enjoy his confusion, which was much increased upon hearing a laugh that I was no longer able to restrain. He looked as if he wished himself in the crater of Mount Vesuvius, or any other place where he might never again be seen.—He endeavored to speak, and stammered something about offence—pardon—sorrow: but I interrupted him with, "no apologies I beg of you, all the penance I require is that you never more flatter any one; perhaps that will be harder than a pilgrimage to the Holy City. I have learned a lesson from you that I hope will never be forgotten; that is, never to believe what a gentleman says when he speaks in my praise!" I do not know how much longer I should have talked had I not at that moment raised my eyes to see what effect it had upon Mr. when I found that I was speaking to his empty chair. Looking about for him, I saw him just making his escape from the room. Feeling rather anxious to know where he went, I looked out of the window—the moon shone beautifully, and I could see him distinctly—he was running from the house as if pursued by a demon, and was holding his hands over his ears, for it was a very cold night, and in his hurry he had forgotten to take his hat. I have no doubt by the time he reached home he was convinced that it was not always necessary to flatter ladies.

Now in the name of common sense I desire to know what is the reason that gentlemen think, whenever they are in the company of ladies, they must talk nothing but flattery and nonsense? Do they suppose it will render the society more pleasing, or is it because such trifling is agreeable to themselves? I suspect the latter is more frequently the cause than is generally conceived.—But enough of flattery for the present, for it is in no way very gratifying to

ANS.