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Editorial
November 2, 1931
The Ironton News
Ironton, Lawrence County, Ohio
What is this article about?
Satirical editorial ironically lists desired civic virtues paired with current city's vices like corruption, high taxes, uninvestigated crimes, and political influence, urging votes for the Tribune ticket to perpetuate the status quo.
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IF YOU WANT-
(Apologies to the Sunday Tribune for Stealing their Thunder)
If you want your city to be an exceptionally well governed municipality-WITH a wide open underworld-
If you want it to be free fearless and independent of politicians--AND continue to pay high gas rates--
If you want a dollar's worth of value for your tax dollar-BY wage reductions and a higher salary for the Manager
If you want economy, efficiency. decency in the affairs of your city.-- WITH un-investigated murders in the Red Light district
If you want to point with pride to your progress and spirit OF arresting C. & O. boys for revenue and NOT the highjackers-
If you want politicians to be afraid to make proposals to your officials - EXCEPT behind CLOSED doors in the Manager's office-.
If you want honesty in public affairs, ability in administration, and efficiency in public service--WITH high water rates and closed fire stations
If you want a city council free from the influence and fear of the overlords of political organizations-.- CHANGING specifications on contracts previously let for street improvements, adding $10,000 more to the proposed cost-
If you want an economical conduct of municipal matters, attention to your suggestion and desires, intelligence and decorum in the city building-AND a deaf ear to misconduct of a policeman-
If you want to be in the vanguard of live municipalities, abreast of the times and opportunities, awake to progress and culture and assured of painstaking -service and attention- WITH a sex clinic in the city hall to save our young boys from the price they must pay of a wide open vice district
Then you should vote for the Tribune ticket for a continuation of present city management.
(Apologies to the Sunday Tribune for Stealing their Thunder)
If you want your city to be an exceptionally well governed municipality-WITH a wide open underworld-
If you want it to be free fearless and independent of politicians--AND continue to pay high gas rates--
If you want a dollar's worth of value for your tax dollar-BY wage reductions and a higher salary for the Manager
If you want economy, efficiency. decency in the affairs of your city.-- WITH un-investigated murders in the Red Light district
If you want to point with pride to your progress and spirit OF arresting C. & O. boys for revenue and NOT the highjackers-
If you want politicians to be afraid to make proposals to your officials - EXCEPT behind CLOSED doors in the Manager's office-.
If you want honesty in public affairs, ability in administration, and efficiency in public service--WITH high water rates and closed fire stations
If you want a city council free from the influence and fear of the overlords of political organizations-.- CHANGING specifications on contracts previously let for street improvements, adding $10,000 more to the proposed cost-
If you want an economical conduct of municipal matters, attention to your suggestion and desires, intelligence and decorum in the city building-AND a deaf ear to misconduct of a policeman-
If you want to be in the vanguard of live municipalities, abreast of the times and opportunities, awake to progress and culture and assured of painstaking -service and attention- WITH a sex clinic in the city hall to save our young boys from the price they must pay of a wide open vice district
Then you should vote for the Tribune ticket for a continuation of present city management.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Partisan Politics
Moral Or Religious
What keywords are associated?
City Governance
Political Corruption
Vice District
High Taxes
Municipal Efficiency
Tribune Ticket
Satirical Endorsement
What entities or persons were involved?
Tribune Ticket
City Manager
Politicians
City Council
Editorial Details
Primary Topic
Satirical Critique Of City Management And Vice
Stance / Tone
Ironic Opposition To Current Administration
Key Figures
Tribune Ticket
City Manager
Politicians
City Council
Key Arguments
Well Governed City With Open Underworld
Independent Of Politicians But High Gas Rates
Value For Tax Dollar Via Wage Cuts And Manager Raise
Economy With Uninvestigated Murders
Progress By Arresting Minor Offenders Not Highjackers
Honest Administration With High Water Rates And Closed Stations
Free Council Changing Contract Specs To Add Costs
Economical Matters Ignoring Police Misconduct
Progressive City With Vice District And Sex Clinic