Centre Democrat

Two Drummers,

There was two rival drummers
The merits that did blow
Of safes were in St. Louis made
And safes from Chicago
They chanced upon a merchant
Who fain a safe would buy.
And in the praise of their houses' wares
The drummers twain did vie
Each striving to see which could construct
The most colossal lie.

Up spake the St. Louis drummer:
"Once a man a cat did take
And locked the animal in a safe
Of our superior make.
They made a bonfire round the safe
With tar and kerosene,
And for four-and-twenty hours it blazed
With raging heat, I ween.

"The fire went out, the safe was cooled,
And I will forfeit five
Hundred good dollars if that cat
Did not come out alive."

Then mild upspake and answered him
The Chicago safe agent:
"With our safe one day we did essay
The same experiment.

"We placed the safe selected on
Of coals a fiery bed,
And pitched-pine we heaped in coal-oil
Steeped
Till the iron glowed bright red
And in forty-eight hours we ope'd the safe
And, alas! the cat was dead!"

"Was dead? Aha!" his rival cried
With a triumphant breath;
But the Chicago man replied
"Yes, the cat was frozen to death!"

No word that St. Louis drummer spoke,
But silent he stood and wan,
While the Kansas merchant an order gave
To the Chicago man.