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Poem
September 27, 1881
Spirit Of Jefferson
Charles Town, Jefferson County, West Virginia
What is this article about?
Satirical poem depicting the frustrations of low-paid railroad workers, imagining baggage masters roughly handling luggage and conductors being unhelpful due to meager wages barely covering basics.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
In the sweet, soft tones of the Eolian harp
For eleven dollars a week.
If I were a baggage master,
I'd rattle the trunks about;
I'd stand them up in the corner
And I'd tear their bowels out.
I would pull the handle out by the roots,
I would kick their corners in,
And strew their stuffing all round the car
And I'd make them lean and thin.
For I couldn't afford to wear Kid gloves
Nor put soft pads on my feet,
Nor to handle things gently, when all my pay
Just kept me in bread and meat.
If I were a railroad conductor,
As through the train I'd go,
I'd have for every question they asked
This answer already: "Don't know."
I'd miss connection for lots of men,
I'd run lone passengers past;
I'd tell them 'twas eight when I know 'twas ten
And I'd swear their watches were fast,
For I couldn't afford to be civil,
When I knew every man in the load
Would look at my watch and ring and say,
"He stole them things from the road."
[Burlington Hawkeye.]
For eleven dollars a week.
If I were a baggage master,
I'd rattle the trunks about;
I'd stand them up in the corner
And I'd tear their bowels out.
I would pull the handle out by the roots,
I would kick their corners in,
And strew their stuffing all round the car
And I'd make them lean and thin.
For I couldn't afford to wear Kid gloves
Nor put soft pads on my feet,
Nor to handle things gently, when all my pay
Just kept me in bread and meat.
If I were a railroad conductor,
As through the train I'd go,
I'd have for every question they asked
This answer already: "Don't know."
I'd miss connection for lots of men,
I'd run lone passengers past;
I'd tell them 'twas eight when I know 'twas ten
And I'd swear their watches were fast,
For I couldn't afford to be civil,
When I knew every man in the load
Would look at my watch and ring and say,
"He stole them things from the road."
[Burlington Hawkeye.]
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Satire Society
What keywords are associated?
Railroad Workers
Low Wages
Baggage Master
Conductor
Satire
Labor Frustration
What entities or persons were involved?
Burlington Hawkeye
Poem Details
Author
Burlington Hawkeye
Subject
Satire On Low Paid Railroad Workers
Form / Style
Rhymed Stanzas
Key Lines
If I Were A Baggage Master,
I'd Rattle The Trunks About;
I'd Stand Them Up In The Corner
And I'd Tear Their Bowels Out.
For I Couldn't Afford To Wear Kid Gloves
Nor Put Soft Pads On My Feet,
Nor To Handle Things Gently, When All My Pay
Just Kept Me In Bread And Meat.
I'd Tell Them 'Twas Eight When I Know 'Twas Ten
And I'd Swear Their Watches Were Fast,
For I Couldn't Afford To Be Civil,
When I Knew Every Man In The Load
Would Look At My Watch And Ring And Say,
"He Stole Them Things From The Road."