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Editorial
May 18, 1863
Shreveport Weekly News
Shreveport, Caddo County, Louisiana
What is this article about?
Satirical editorial proposing absurd General Orders to conscript men into Confederate service for minor offenses like using cotton extensions or criticizing editors, aimed at filling ranks in the Trans-Mississippi District under Gen. Kirby Smith.
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OCR Quality
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Full Text
Plan for Filling the Ranks.
Editor News:—If I occupied the same position in the Trans-Mississippi District that Gen. Kirby Smith does, I would issue the following
General Orders,
No. I. Whereas it is apparent that there is a lack of patriotism in my district, and where this lack of patriotism has led many individuals to injure our cause by a supercilious conduct, therefore, be it known, that after the 1st of June next, any male individual, without regard to age or physical condition, who shall use cotton extensions shall, if convicted, on the testimony of three reliable witnesses, be conscripted for Confederate service during the war; and all such persons shall not be allowed to employ substitutes or have the benefit of clergy in any sense whatever.
No. 2. Any male person who shall be found guilty of depreciating Confederate money, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 3. Any person who shall be a candidate for Governor of a State without some chance of an election, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 4. Any male person who shall be guilty of croaking, or circulating rumors to the prejudice of our cause, shall, for the first offence be stripped of his clothing; for the second offence tarred and feathered, and for the third conscripted as in number one.
No. 5. Any male person who shall be guilty of entertaining Yankee officers while they are held as prisoners, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 6. Any male government agent who shall legitimately realize over $10,000 a year for his services shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 7. Any male drunkard, who shall daily intoxicate others, with his breath, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 8. Any male person who shall habitually speak disparagingly of newspaper editors, shall be conscripted as in number one.
If this did not fill the ranks I would try something else.
Editor News:—If I occupied the same position in the Trans-Mississippi District that Gen. Kirby Smith does, I would issue the following
General Orders,
No. I. Whereas it is apparent that there is a lack of patriotism in my district, and where this lack of patriotism has led many individuals to injure our cause by a supercilious conduct, therefore, be it known, that after the 1st of June next, any male individual, without regard to age or physical condition, who shall use cotton extensions shall, if convicted, on the testimony of three reliable witnesses, be conscripted for Confederate service during the war; and all such persons shall not be allowed to employ substitutes or have the benefit of clergy in any sense whatever.
No. 2. Any male person who shall be found guilty of depreciating Confederate money, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 3. Any person who shall be a candidate for Governor of a State without some chance of an election, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 4. Any male person who shall be guilty of croaking, or circulating rumors to the prejudice of our cause, shall, for the first offence be stripped of his clothing; for the second offence tarred and feathered, and for the third conscripted as in number one.
No. 5. Any male person who shall be guilty of entertaining Yankee officers while they are held as prisoners, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 6. Any male government agent who shall legitimately realize over $10,000 a year for his services shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 7. Any male drunkard, who shall daily intoxicate others, with his breath, shall be conscripted as in number one.
No. 8. Any male person who shall habitually speak disparagingly of newspaper editors, shall be conscripted as in number one.
If this did not fill the ranks I would try something else.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Military Affairs
What keywords are associated?
Confederate Conscription
Satire
Military Ranks
Trans Mississippi District
General Orders
Cotton Extensions
Confederate Money
What entities or persons were involved?
Gen. Kirby Smith
Confederate Service
Editorial Details
Primary Topic
Satirical Plan For Conscripting Men Into Confederate Service For Petty Offenses
Stance / Tone
Satirical Mockery Of Conscription Efforts
Key Figures
Gen. Kirby Smith
Confederate Service
Key Arguments
Conscript Users Of Cotton Extensions For Lack Of Patriotism
Conscript Those Depreciating Confederate Money
Conscript Gubernatorial Candidates Without Election Chances
Punish Rumor Spreaders Progressively Up To Conscription
Conscript Entertainers Of Yankee Prisoners
Conscript High Earning Government Agents
Conscript Drunkards Who Intoxicate Others
Conscript Critics Of Newspaper Editors