The Virginia Gazette

To Mess. Purdie & Dixon.

GENTLEMEN,

THERE is Nothing upon which I can congratulate the politick World with so much Propriety as the Refinements to which Disputants have lately acceded. The Violence of their Contests was wont to resemble the Ferocity of Combatants among barbarous Warriors. Politeness hath at Length, however, softened both Kinds of Hostility. The Pen hath its Restrictions, as well as the Sword. Circumstances may, nevertheless, render necessary Attack or Defence to a Person who is equally unskilled in the Laws of Arms or the Science of Schools. When his Flock is molested by a Lion or a Bear, the Shepherd may seize the Foe by the Beard. When a Giant advances with the Front of Defiance, a Stripling may use a Sling and a Stone. His Limb being unencumbered by the Pressure of Armour, he may be allowed to decline the Helmet and the Mail. Thus circumstanced, I have presumed to step forth against a doughty Champion, who, by the Terror of his Sword, the Weight of his Spear, and the Splendour of his Shield, seems to have dismayed the Army he defies.

That Philo-Dicaios is the Giant I mean no One can be at a Loss to discover. A Drawcansir for the Clergy, he thus proclaims the Cause he supports: "Our Establishment and our Properties." Not doubting that the Incroachments were subversive of these, he declares them as effectually overturned by a Late Act in the Law. Ye Burgesses, you Council of Virginia how rebellious, how unjust, are ye, become! By Delaying, for a Month, the Payment of Tobacco, ye have rendered ineffectual the pure Doctrines of our Church;" and pillaged the Clergy, who subsist on the same. How much is every Christian, and every Clergyman, indebted to Philo-Dicaios for his disinterested Affection upon this Occasion; the Effusions of which he thus elegantly and modestly expresses: "I impatiently commanded to see at (i. e. the Act of Assembly) for some Time, and lately casually came across a Copy of it and, by what appears to me, I think it no less subversive of our Establishment, and but little less injurious to our Properties, than the Twopenny Act itself." Happy Phil! if your publick Spirit had not casually led you to come across it, I fear no One besides would have had Penetration enough to have unveiled the Legislature of Cheat; Give me Leave, however, to represent a Discovery which, to what appears to me, you have made from this diabolical Act, and which Nothing but your Modesty could have hindered you from enlarging upon, with all those Graces of Composition with which your Writing abounds; and that is, that the Government of this Country is entirely absolute. Deluded Virginians! boast no more of Freedom as the Birthright of Mankind, and the Inheritance of your Country. Unwittingly do ye foster in your Bosom a Serpent, which hath given to your Liberties the deadliest Wound. In your Assembly is a Legislator who can prevent all your Burgesses from chearing the Clergy; or, in other Words, can do with them just as he pleases. Your Supposition, dread Sir, supports this Discovery, which, as it required no Conjurer to draw it out of Darkness, will free me, I trust, both from the Charge of Divination and the Censure of that Maxim, "The Children of this World are wiser in their Generation than the Children of Light." How you, Sir, will free yourself from either I know not; for by what other Means than Divination could you imagine it would ever rain throughout the Colony for above three Months together? Could you not, by the same Means, foresee in October the Price of Tobacco in the following July? Your Presentiment of Rain, I fear, will make it appear that "the Stars, in their Courses, fight against" the Clergy; and, therefore, that the Legislator is maintaining the Cause of Heaven. If so, his Act may be more favourable than you have conjectured; for will not three Months successive Rain in the Summer effectually destroy all the Produce of the Country, and enable the Clergy to demand what Compensation they please? As to the Commissary, the Charge brought against him is grievous indeed! You have proved him a very Judas to that Religion he is bound to protect. If Crimes be proportioned to the Dignity of Offenders, Nothing can equal the Desert of his Guilt. His Negative, you assure us, is equivalent to the Governour's; who, by Implication, you affirm, was a good natured Fool, unaware of the Snare into which he had run. To the Commissary you advise Let the Clergy be convened. The Commissary may cite them, as Glendower could -Spirits from the vasty Deep.

Why, who can I, or who can any Man;
But, will they come when he doth call for them?

In my humble Opinion, the Evils you apprehend can only be remedied by that Sagacity which hath discovered in the Emendations of the Act, respecting the Salaries of the Clergy, that they amount to a total Subversion of the Establishment, and are but little less injurious to their Properties; and that Divination which can foresee such Deluges of Rain, when there is not perceptible in the whole Horizon a Cloud so big as the Hand of a Man.