Vermont Watchman And State Journal

DOING A DANDY.

As the cars were about leaving a village in the interior of Massachusetts, not long since, a rather verdant looking specimen of humanity in the form of a tall Vermonter, was seen making large tracks for the depot, which he reached just in time to jump aboard the train as it departed. After for a moment drawing breath, which he had lost in the race, Jonathan walked boldly into one of the cars containing some twenty or thirty passengers, and pushing on, with long ungainly strides, seated himself by the stove, and after taking a long stare at the passengers, commenced warming himself.

Among the passengers in the car, was a young man belonging to that class generally known as "city dandies." His person was small and thin, yet he was dressed in the extreme of city fashion; his upper lip, as was a portion of his face, was covered with a growth of sandy-colored hair, while a stiffly starched collar reached nearly to the top of his head. Indeed he had a most exquisite air, and whenever he spoke his words were peculiarly mincing.

The dandy sat looking listlessly out of the window as Jonathan entered the car. Turning round, and observing the character of the intruder. he seemed convinced that there was a rare opportunity for fun, which he determined not to let pass, and Jonathan suddenly found himself the subject of the dandy's wit. But he bore calmly the taunts and jeers of the dandy, and seemed in fact unconscious of what was going on, until the latter had nearly exhausted his fountain of blackguardism, when Jonathan for the first time looked toward the seat occupied by the dandy. As his eyes fell on that personage, he looked surprised, his face grew radiant, and relaxing his bronze features into a sort of grin, he arose and strode across the car toward him.

"Wal, I swow!" commenced the Vermonter, as he grasped the dandy's skinny hand within his own. and gave it a tremendous squeeze,"who'd a thought it! didn't hardly know you at first. I say, old feller, how dye du? I'm raily glad to see se!"

Here a shriek from the dandy, followed by a volley of curses, as he drew his now almost crushed hand from his grasp, caused Jonathan to halt suddenly in his exclamations, and he commenced apologizing for his rudeness.

"I swow, I didn't mean to hurt your hand, but it does seem good to meet old acquaintances, 'specially amongst strangers; perhaps tho' you don't remember me. but I do you, and that's just as well."

"What do you mean, you impudent pup?" exclaimed the dandy, his shallow face crimsoned with anger.

"Ob, Mister, there's no use in flashing up; you can't deny it."

"Deny what?" demanded the dandy emphatically.

"I say, Mister," continued Jonathan, not heeding the interruption. and with a knowing wink of the eye "how long is it since you got out!"

"Do you mean to insult a gentleman?" shouted the dandy, springing from his seat

"Be quiet, friend," said Jonathan, and then continued, "didn't they use you well there"didn't give you good fodder, eh? or wan't your cage large enough?"

"Begone, you scoundrel!" shouted the dandy huskily.

"I say, Mister, have you got that ring off your neck yet?" continued Jonathan, seizing hold of the stiffly starched collar of the other, and pulling it back to examine his neck, with such force as to start it from its foundation, and cause it to hang by one corner down the dandy's back.

This was too much; the dandy could not endure it; pale and trembling with anger, he attempted to speak, but words failed him.

"Look 'ere, friends." said Jonathan, addressing the amazed passengers, while he took the dandy by the arm and turning him around two or three times, so as to expose him to their view, "perhaps you don't know it; but this is the very same Ourang-Outang that was exhibited at the menagerie that come up to Vermont a spell ago!"

The roars of laughter that rang through the cars at this announcement were really alarming; every one was seized with convulsions, and the conductor, startled by the universal noise, rushed in to see what was the matter. The train stopped at this moment at a way station, and the last seen of the crest fallen dandy he was clearing the train, muttering curses too fearful to repeat.