Smyrna Times

On Main Street
By PAT PIPER
This National "Week" business has come to be a stock joke with radio comedians and newspaper columnists. It has even been suggested that the United States Congress should set aside one week each year which would be called "National No Name Week"
The situation has become so bad that people are refusing to eat pastrami during "National Pastrami Week": to drink milk during "National Bock Beer Week" and some have even gone so far as to drink Bock Beer during "National Dairy Products Week". However. this is "National Girl Scout Week". Please don't burn your old Scout uniforms, hand books or hide your talents under a bushel. They can all be used by the local organization. All of which reminds me of a woman who was heard to say last Tuesday that, if she didn't have meat any other day in the week, she would have it on "Meatless Tuesdays" just because she doesn't like Harry Truman. That, methinks, is the very last straw.
The old, old story of the tortoise and the hare was re-enacted recently right in front of the Times Office, only this time the hare was a bus. A lazy old terrapin, with head held high, stepped off the pavement and began its perilous journey across Commerce Street. At about the same time it had reached the middle of the road, a huge "Chartered" bus came toward it at a fast clip. The driver saw it just in time, and with a squeal of brakes, stopped the bus, held up traffic, and sat there in interested suspense until the little fellow had reached the other side. Turtles always have the luck.
The time is coming when I'm going to have to go slinking through back streets at nighttime, pulling all the shades in the daytime-and maybe even hire a bodyguard, for I just received an ominous warning to "lay off Westbrook Pegler"
Noted with amusement the reader who told the editors of the Morning News just what he thought of old "Pegleg". in no uncertain terms. Anyway, a note to the person who called this department-— we don't mean anything personal Honest.