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Poem
August 31, 1893
The Republican
Oakland, Garrett County, Maryland
What is this article about?
A satirical poem depicting the woes of extreme wealth, where the millionaire laments the anxieties and indecisions caused by his vast possessions, from bonds and villas to horses and boats, concluding that riches cannot buy a stable mind.
Clipping
OCR Quality
98%
Excellent
Full Text
THE MISERABLE MILLIONAIRE
I am so very, very rich it is a nuisance quite:
It keeps me anxious all day long and wide
awake at night.
My bonds they are so many that it makes my
fingers sore
To cut off all the coupons, which I deem a
dreadful bore.
I have six villas in the hills, and seven by the
sea,
But they're no joy but aggravations rather unto
me:
For when the summer season comes I'm al-
ways full of woe
Because I can't make up my mind to which of
them I'll go.
I have a stable full of rigs, and horses for each
one,
Yet though they're all of blooded stock my
horses I must shun,
Because when I'd go driving in my sulky or my
brake,
I cannot seem to choose the one 'twould please
me best to take
Upon the water 'tis the same.
I've craft of
every kind,
From dingies up to steamers swift that leave
all else behind.
And yet I never venture out upon the sound or
sea
Because my mind and I do not seem able to
agree.
Now wealth is very lovely, and there's much
that it will buy,
But 't is a sorry burden for a fellow such as I,
For just the thing I need the most gold helps
me not to find,
And that as you may guess in brief's a firm and
stable mind.
—Gaston V. Drake, in Harper's Bazar.
I am so very, very rich it is a nuisance quite:
It keeps me anxious all day long and wide
awake at night.
My bonds they are so many that it makes my
fingers sore
To cut off all the coupons, which I deem a
dreadful bore.
I have six villas in the hills, and seven by the
sea,
But they're no joy but aggravations rather unto
me:
For when the summer season comes I'm al-
ways full of woe
Because I can't make up my mind to which of
them I'll go.
I have a stable full of rigs, and horses for each
one,
Yet though they're all of blooded stock my
horses I must shun,
Because when I'd go driving in my sulky or my
brake,
I cannot seem to choose the one 'twould please
me best to take
Upon the water 'tis the same.
I've craft of
every kind,
From dingies up to steamers swift that leave
all else behind.
And yet I never venture out upon the sound or
sea
Because my mind and I do not seem able to
agree.
Now wealth is very lovely, and there's much
that it will buy,
But 't is a sorry burden for a fellow such as I,
For just the thing I need the most gold helps
me not to find,
And that as you may guess in brief's a firm and
stable mind.
—Gaston V. Drake, in Harper's Bazar.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Commerce Trade
Satire Society
What keywords are associated?
Miserable Millionaire
Wealth Nuisance
Riches Anxiety
Villas Horses Boats
Stable Mind
What entities or persons were involved?
Gaston V. Drake, In Harper's Bazar
Poem Details
Title
The Miserable Millionaire
Author
Gaston V. Drake, In Harper's Bazar
Subject
The Burdens Of Great Wealth
Form / Style
Rhymed Couplets
Key Lines
I Am So Very, Very Rich It Is A Nuisance Quite:
It Keeps Me Anxious All Day Long And Wide Awake At Night.
Now Wealth Is Very Lovely, And There's Much That It Will Buy,
But 'T Is A Sorry Burden For A Fellow Such As I,