The Virginia Gazette

A RECEIPT for MODERN DRESS.

O describe, in its present, the Taste of the Time
(To answer your Purpose, and fill up my
Rhime)
Your Choice must be made, for a Figure exemplar,
Of
a
Captain, a Cit, Maccaroni, or Templar,
Let
his Figure be slender, and lounging, and slim,
Confoundedly formal, and awkwardly trim.
Hang a Hat on his Head; let it slant fiercely down,
And be it cut, slashed, and collop'd, and pared to the Crown.
Behind this strange Head a thick Cue you must tie on,
Like a Constable's Bludgeon, or a Tail of a Lion;
And before, when you try to embellish his Hair,
Let your Fingers be quick, and your Powder be fair;
Benz it, and pate it, and cut it, and curl it,
Now slope it in Ranges, in Rollers now furl it.
For the Head of a Fribble, or Beau (without Doubt)
Having Nothing within, should have Something without.
For a Coat give him Something o outré in Shape,
So awkward, o strange, 'twould disfigure an Ape;
A Thing, nor a Coat, nor a Frock, nor a Jacket,
All Waist to the Bottom, at Bottom all Pocket;
What the Brain of a Frenchman alone could produce,
Without Grace, without Ornament, Beauty, or Use.
For Taste, if you mean to display your Regard,
Let his Breeches be spotted like Panther or Pard:
Which will prove what old Fop oft us'd to express,
That an Ass may look fierce in a Masquerade Dress.
Nor forget that his Breeches be roomy between them;
'Twill show that a great Deal is wanting within them.
Let his Shoes be cut forward, as far as his Toe ;
And his Buckles be small, and as round as an O.
Thus equipp'd, turn him out to the Park or the Street,
He will toss with his Head, he will sprawl with his Feet,
Be as arrant a Puppy, for Pride and for Folly,
As ever Coxcomb that struts 'fore the R--
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