The Semi Weekly Mountain Democrat

Mountain Democrat

Fast young ladies,
Hot as a steaming cup of tea,
Yet your hides so cool;
Hats not gaudy, yet of hue
That's not flashy, yet of form
Fast young ladies.

Wide-awakes or birds adorn
Fast young ladies;
Feathers in our hats are worn,
Fast young ladies.

Bonnets hitched up on spreading frame,
Petticoats as bright as flame,
Dainty bird-beaked boots proclaim
Fast young ladies.

Riding habits are the rage,
Fast young ladies;
When we prance in Rotten Row
Fast young ladies;
Where we're never at a loss
On the theme of 'that 'ere 'oss,'
Which, as yet, we do not cross,
Fast young ladies.

There we scan, as bold as brass,
Fast young ladies,
Other parties as they pass,
Fast young ladies;
Parties whom our parents slow
Tell us we ought not to know;
Shouldn't we, indeed? Why so?
Fast young ladies.

On the turf we show our face,
Fast young ladies;
Know the odds of every race,
Fast young ladies;
Talk, as sharp as any knife,
Betting slang—we read Bell's Life;
That's the ticket for a wife,
Fast young ladies.

We are not to be hooked in,
Fast young ladies;
I require a chap with tin;
Fast young ladies.
Love is humbug; cash the chief
Article in my belief;
All poor matches come to grief,
Fast young ladies.

Not to marry is my plan,
Fast young ladies,
Any but a wealthy man,
Fast young ladies.
Bother that romance and stuff:
She who likes it is a muff;
We are better up to snuff.
Fast young ladies.

Give me but my quiet weed,
Fast young ladies,
Bitter ale and ample feed,
Fast young ladies;
Pay my bills, portmonnaie store,
Wardrobe stock—I ask no more;
Sentiment we vote a bore,
Fast young ladies.

[Punch.]