Westside Enterprise

TRI-CITY TOPICS
BY GENE ELY

Take warning, fellow countrymen from the Westside. Beware the glittering deadfall known as Phoenix. Many an innocent maid and poor honest lad has fallen into the trap, and left the family purse with the traffic court there.

I thought, trusting as I am, that all the harrowing tales told of the Phoenix cop were mere fanciful fabrications to excuse slipshod driving habits.

I was wrong. I have seen the light.

The other rainy morning, my little lady, her cousin, and I set out on a journey to the city. We wished to extend the L. L.'s cousin's visiting permit. An agreeable task we were only too happy to perform, but one that we must perforce do at the Federal building in Phoenix.

En route, we made a left turn from the middle of Central Avenue onto Monroe, a one-way street. In turning, we swung into the middle lane of Monroe.

It all seemed harmless enough. There was no screeching of brakes, or curses hurled at us by frustrated motorists. Actually, there wasn't even a car approaching from the right.

But alack a day. Unbeknownst to us there were busy watching eyes that noted our error. Silently a minion of the law latched on to our rear, and followed us for two and a half blocks to a parking lot we were about to enter.

There, with a great honking of the horn, he hauled us to the side and after the doleful proceedings of the license, etc., the vigilant officer told us in sepulchral tones we should have turned into the LEFT lane instead of the middle one.

With a solemn "Enjoy yourself while you drive," the zealous guardian left us. That was a hot one, "Enjoy yourself."

Stunned, bewildered, and uncomprehending, but happy, that's the way to be in Phoenix.

The upshot of all this was that my little lady was socked five iron men, and we came away with the firm resolve never to go to Phoenix except under dire circumstances.

Now, besides the obvious moral that it is better to stay in one's own peaceful town, and shun the pit dug for the unsuspecting by our neighboring city, there is another moral we might take to heart.

During a recent visit to the coast, we noticed how some areas have managed to keep their independence and individuality in the mess of Los Angeles county.

Despite the smog, the traffic problems, and the demands of hordes of people, a number of towns in the L. A. complex retain the pleasant streets of livable communities.

If half of what they say is true of future Valley growth, we would do well to find out how these towns do it. I don't think we stand a chance against Big Brother Phoenix unless we all begin to plan together.